Pasty-wank

When one lightly heats up a pasty and proceeds to place his gentails inside, asserting his dominace over the pastry item for pleasure.
I walked into the kitchen the other day and caught Charlie Sheen having a pasty-wank!
by Vernonthecomplicated October 31, 2017
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Lang Wank

A method of masturbation whereby the masturbator uses a traditional one-hand grip on the penis, while inserting the thumb from his other hand up his anus. Due to the slightly uncomfortable positioning, this practice can mean the participant takes a "long"time to complete the wank to satisfaction.

This method was apparently first seen performed in Scotland and in recognition of this, the Scottish word for Long, "Lang" is used.
I just had a lang wank, but boy, my arse is a little tender now and I can no longer bring myself to smell my thumb.
by The Artful Fudger December 12, 2010
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Hank Wank

Rubbing one out with and into a handkerchief aka hanky to avoid the mess and to add little friction to enhance the experience.
I do a hank wank each night before bed so I can go right to sleep. But I need to wash my hanky. That thing is getting awful stiff and crusty.
by Eaton Holgoode May 29, 2018
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Wank in the Bush

When you have an awkward boner and cannot keep it in your pants any longer and there isn't a bathroom near by, so you whip it out and pretend you're taking a piss but secretly wank in the bush.
Dan: "Liam mate are you having a wank in the bush?"
Liam: "Na mate just taking a piss, being holding it in all day!"
by professor oi oi July 29, 2016
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wank parade

Wanking more than 3 times in night, usually while maintaining nudity.
Last Thursday i was bored while home alone so i decided to have a wank parade to pass time
by stuy.bee November 20, 2010
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wank skank

person who has a wank over someone they shouldn't, for example a friends partner
you wank skank! cant believe you had a wank over melissas boyfriend!
by ashthetash June 03, 2014
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Fat Wank

When one eats a large quantity of food and proceeds to masturbate immediately afterwards.
"Great night last night, got in and ordered £60 worth of Chinese food and had a fat wank"
by RHUL Penrose January 21, 2019
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