Wank in the Bush

When you have an awkward boner and cannot keep it in your pants any longer and there isn't a bathroom near by, so you whip it out and pretend you're taking a piss but secretly wank in the bush.

Dan: "Liam mate are you having a wank in the bush?"
Liam: "Na mate just taking a piss, being holding it in all day!"

by professor oi oi July 29, 2016

Post-wank

When you keep jacking off even though you already came.

George jizzed everywhere but continued on in post-wank shame.

by Dickweed McGee May 3, 2014

wank the crank

Grammatically correct term for mastrubation. Wank is the verb preceding crank (noun.)

A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.

Billy's grandmother nearly fainted when she saw him wank the crank to the nude pygmies in the National Geographic.

by Macsloan October 19, 2019

wank skank

person who has a wank over someone they shouldn't, for example a friends partner

you wank skank! cant believe you had a wank over melissas boyfriend!

by ashthetash June 3, 2014

Status Wank

When someone "likes" their own status on Facebook

John Smith is a status wanker

John Smith likes this

by el foldo December 1, 2011

wank parade

Wanking more than 3 times in night, usually while maintaining nudity.

Last Thursday i was bored while home alone so i decided to have a wank parade to pass time

by stuy.bee November 22, 2010

Wank Window

A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.

Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.

Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.

by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012