The beliefs of Toolism.
I- Females are the master sex.
II- Blind-loyalty to all females.
III- Offerings must be made to females lately.
IV- Study guides WILL be given during all tests or quizzes to females.
V- iPhone will given to females at least 3 hours daily.
VI- All who disagree will be called ridiculous/immature and be punished.
VII- All who rebel will be expelled from the Tool Shed.
VIII- nonbelievers must be converted and a female friend will be rewarded for
one hour minimum.
IX- You shall not cover your neighbor's tool.
X- You shall not use the name of the lord your owner in vain.
All people who follow these commandments will be awarded the golden screwdriver of
the year award.
I- Females are the master sex.
II- Blind-loyalty to all females.
III- Offerings must be made to females lately.
IV- Study guides WILL be given during all tests or quizzes to females.
V- iPhone will given to females at least 3 hours daily.
VI- All who disagree will be called ridiculous/immature and be punished.
VII- All who rebel will be expelled from the Tool Shed.
VIII- nonbelievers must be converted and a female friend will be rewarded for
one hour minimum.
IX- You shall not cover your neighbor's tool.
X- You shall not use the name of the lord your owner in vain.
All people who follow these commandments will be awarded the golden screwdriver of
the year award.
by The Tool Master March 28, 2009
by JohnPaulDCLXVI April 01, 2009
Someone Who has been homeschooled all their life. When the time come for them to apply for college, they have no guidance counselors, and every school they apply for requires painfull, unreasonable measures for those homeschoolers applying. Thus making the only option for the homeschooler to get an education is to join the military. Making them an "Army Tool".
Homeschooler: Dude this Sucks, I can't find a college that'll accept me.
Friend 1: Why?
Homeschooler: Cus I'm F***in Homeschooled! Now I have no choice but to join the Army.
Freind 1: Dude life Sucks for Jake.
Freind 2: Why?
Freind 1: He can't get into college cus he's Homeschooled.
Freind 2: Damn that Sucks. What an Army Tool.
Friend 1: Why?
Homeschooler: Cus I'm F***in Homeschooled! Now I have no choice but to join the Army.
Freind 1: Dude life Sucks for Jake.
Freind 2: Why?
Freind 1: He can't get into college cus he's Homeschooled.
Freind 2: Damn that Sucks. What an Army Tool.
by mm08 February 07, 2008
Avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as Tool. Tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as Maynard Ivory James Keenan Wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-"prog" bands. You can pick a Tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. A Tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday's hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and shaggy hair.
You know Jeff? That annoying kid who shows up 30 minutes late to class every day with serious redeye and voices his stance on everything from abortion to extraterrestrialism without being asked? I hear he's a big Tool fan. Figures.
by Chernorizets Hrabr August 28, 2006
The next level of being a tool. More than being a power tool, tool shed, tool box, and any other kinds of tool you can think of.
by alex bowdine February 09, 2009
by Terry Sachs December 20, 2011
by Elitebini1010 February 27, 2020