status masterbation

A facebook, twitter, or other social media status update that serves only for the psychosocial gratification of the poster, not unlike sexual masterbation.

-Did you see Lisa's most recent facebook status update about how happy she is with her life and how thankful she is for everyone?

-Yeah, I did, and I can't stop reading it. I have such a fetish for reading status masterbation.

by andmybow February 20, 2014

Easterbation

the second coming, masterbating for a second time in quick succession

Dude 1: last night a managed to come twice
Dude 2: well done dude uve mastered Easterbation

by Xenesthad July 27, 2008

Masterbationist

The act of one human alone frequetly masterbating nonstop.

Jon Marshall is a frquent masterbationist to good house keeping.

by Phillis Dickinme February 1, 2010

Gasterbation

When you finger your butt, and you fart out a lot of gas

I just had gasterbation

by Billiam Beaver September 15, 2017

Brain-Masterbation

Telling yourself you're right while ignoring actual facts.

In his delusional state, Cambo prefered his Brain-Masterbation and was completely unaware of the actual fact that he was sitting in a burning house.

by Card_Sultan May 14, 2015

Clown Masterbation

Clown masterbation occurs when you put your penis in a large rainbow wig. Then you rug vigerusly until you cry and bleed (at the same time).

So dude how did you get into the circus?
Oh I had to do some clown masterbation

by ianz. June 6, 2010

rasterbation

The action of masturbation while wearing a Rastafarian hat (preferably with dreadlocks) and smoking large sums of marijuana. Generally those who partake in this activity shout "yaman" at the moment of ejaculation.

Fred: "Hey, you guys wanna have a huge rasterbation session tonight?"
Tad: "You know it!"

by rasterbator1 July 7, 2009