uptard

(тормоз по русски, if anyone reads Russian here):

a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.

boy: Melissa, when is your birthday again?

girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.

boy: I am not an uptard. Due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.

Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?

boy: no.

by Sexydimma February 16, 2013

Bob Uptown

A discreet expression to announce you are cruising the intercity streets for a hooker for a knob bobbing blow job.

Dude lets go shoot pool.

Not tonight braaaahh. I'm going to see Bob Uptown.

by Eaton Holgoode March 3, 2017

Uptarded

Improved, in retard-style.

I didn't like my essay for school, so I totally uptarded it by adding bits of chewed crayon.

by Brass January 30, 2003

Uptown

in nyc anwhere from 110th St up

Harlem , Washington Hieghts & Inwood thats Uptown

by g May 13, 2005

slow on the uptake

Used to describe someone who is simple, slow, retarded or lacking intelligence.

My ex husband and his new wife are a little slow on the uptake.

by Sandi68 April 28, 2006

Uptown Funk

See 'music induced headaches'.

I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I heard Uptown Funk play on the radio, I would have enough money to completely bail the U.S. out of its debt to China.

by PurplePenguin007 August 8, 2015

uptime

Social status measurement used by hopeless geeks as an alternate indicator of penile length. Completely non-representative of actual work being accomplished by said computer. Most accurate indicator known of time between power outages.

by Bob McFillius April 8, 2003