Turtle Peeking

A euphemistic expression regarding the extreme urgency to defecate and holding it in as much in as possible. Having the pressure of a fecal turd poking itself partially out of the bum hole while trying to make it to the closest restroom.

Roger sprinted down the hall from his desk to the restroom. He has a turtle peeking.

by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

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Turtle Spear

A thin hollow tube of plastic for drinking liquids, also know as a straw. Occasionally found in the stomachs of animals and in the noses of turtles.

Starbucks Barista: How can I help you?
Jeremy: Can I get a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato, minus the turtle spear?
Starbucks Barista: ...Excuse me?
Jeremy: A Turtle Spear.. you know, the thing used to drink your overpriced coffee and kill turtles?
Starbucks Barista: Ooh a straw! Sure thing.
Jeremy: Thank you! Just trying to save the world.

by @ComedicWizard April 7, 2019

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Related Words

thurtle • turtle • turtle head • Turtleneck • turtle necking • turtled • turtle shells • turtleing • turtle dick • turtledove

Turtle Dicking

When someone is wearing a face mask, but their nose is popping out

Look at Tom, he is turtle dicking in the office

by jackwagonjoe November 13, 2020

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Throw the turtle

The act of throwing a turtle against the wall in a post masturbation rage. Or to pleasure yourself by vigarous masturbation.

When I read my old issues of Boys Life I have an overwhelming urge to throw the turtle.

by Poppy410 June 29, 2014

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Turtleneck Sweater

(n.) A strategically designed sweater that has a piece of fabric at the top which hugs fabric completely around the neck. Mostly worn more recently by snobby artists (usually accompanied by a beret also black) or mom's over 35. However, the sweater originated to solve an age old problem of hiding hickeys. The neck is one of the most common places for visible hickeys to appear after a passionate make out session. The next day when you have to have dinner with you parents (or maybe even grandparents!) the hickey will make them think you are some kind of sex fiend. A fashion designer had this problem and after realizing all of their scarves were dirty (don't ask, that is more sex fiend stuff) quickly sewed extra fabric on top of an old sweater to completely conceal around the neck and thus the hickeys. Now men and women can wear hickeys around their families and everyone will think they just have no fashion sense.

Girl: "Tomorrow I have to spend Christmas visiting relatives."

Guy: "So no Chistmas Eve necking then?"

Girl: "Oh we totally can neck all night, I have an ugly Turtleneck Sweater I can wear!"

by Kangarilla September 30, 2014

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