Him: "Why are the dogs always licking my lap?"
Her: "Well, if you'd stop using your man napkin, then they'd probably leave you alone."
Her: "Well, if you'd stop using your man napkin, then they'd probably leave you alone."
by zImage August 15, 2008
A small cloth or beverage napkin kept in the nightstand of an under sexed housewife. The Housewife's Napkin is used to wipe up semen after sexual activity. The Housewife's Napkin generally lasts for many months before needing to be laundered or disposed due to extremely infrequent sexual activity.
Mary Anne was a sex starved housewife. Her husband's lack of sexual performance and constant flaccid state rendered her Housewife's Napkin in clean and folded condition in her nightstand and rarely seeing any use.
by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014
by John Linden October 25, 2006
The napkin, or paper towel used to clean up the jizz after jerking off, can also be used as a derogatory term twards another human being
"I made him eat my dirty jizz napkin"
"my garbage can is full of jizz napkins"
"you fuckin jizz napkin! il kick your ass"
"my garbage can is full of jizz napkins"
"you fuckin jizz napkin! il kick your ass"
by rekclobkcoc October 01, 2006
A piece of paper, napkin or otherwise, used to absorb a load of jizz that a man produces when jerking off to relieve stress.
This has been a crappy day at work. I'm going to grab some stress napkins, go to the bathroom, and have some alone time.
by knightsofsesquipedalia March 17, 2015
When your niece is sitting next to you at McDonald's and she wipes the ketchup from her face onto your sleeve.
"I thought Alexandra was showing some affection for her good 'ol Uncle Mike but she just needed an Uncle Napkin."
by KingOfKensington February 05, 2010
by freudeschoener November 25, 2011