status masterbation

A facebook, twitter, or other social media status update that serves only for the psychosocial gratification of the poster, not unlike sexual masterbation.

-Did you see Lisa's most recent facebook status update about how happy she is with her life and how thankful she is for everyone?

-Yeah, I did, and I can't stop reading it. I have such a fetish for reading status masterbation.

by andmybow February 20, 2014

Masterbationist

The act of one human alone frequetly masterbating nonstop.

Jon Marshall is a frquent masterbationist to good house keeping.

by Phillis Dickinme February 1, 2010

Brain-Masterbation

Telling yourself you're right while ignoring actual facts.

In his delusional state, Cambo prefered his Brain-Masterbation and was completely unaware of the actual fact that he was sitting in a burning house.

by Card_Sultan May 14, 2015

Clown Masterbation

Clown masterbation occurs when you put your penis in a large rainbow wig. Then you rug vigerusly until you cry and bleed (at the same time).

So dude how did you get into the circus?
Oh I had to do some clown masterbation

by ianz. June 6, 2010

Hook Masterbation

To masterbate oneself with hooks.

Damn, I have no hands, so I have to yank off with hooks! I call it Hook Masterbation.

by jasonk123 April 15, 2006

alien masterbation

sticking a dry finger in an ear.

She alien masterbated her boyfriend.

by jake March 5, 2005

Virtual mutual masterbation

Where you sit on your hand till it falls asleep and then you use it to jackoff so it fells like someone else jacking you off and you imagine some woman's jacking you off.

John is into virtual mutual masterbation.

by Deep blue 2012 May 13, 2010