Karmacinoma

A case of cancer bestowed upon a person, by the universe, in retribution for being an asshole. The severity, prognosis, and degree of suffering endured by the deserving victim are in direct proportion to the scale and egregiousness of the victim's history of being an asshole. The majority of cases are not terminal, suggesting that universe intends these cases to be painful and expensive wake-up calls for the affected assholes. In terminal cases of Karmacinoma, it appears that the universe is unleashing its oncogenic wrath as a means of purging the most flagrant assholes from society.

Upon contracting Karmacinoma, no acts of contrition, apologies, or promises to modify behavior have been shown to mitigate the severity or duration of the disease. In cases where the victim survives the illness, such acts and sustained follow-though on them have been shown to extend remission, often indefinitely. Recurrent cases of Karmacinoma carry a 100% terminal prognosis, a clear indication that the universe does not appreciate disregard of a clear and intended wake-up call.

Research has concluded that there is some minimum threshold of being an asshole that must be exceeded before the universe metes out its malignant vengeance on a target victim, suggesting that the universe tolerates some level of asshole behavior. This finding is supported by the empirical observation that every single person is an asshole occasionally, yet not everyone has cancer.

Halpert: Hey, Pam, I just heard that Michael Scott was diagnosed with cancer.
Beesly: Yea, it's bad, Jim. They're saying it's terminal.
Halpert: Any word on what kind of cancer?
Beesly: Stage 4 Karmacinoma.
Halpert: It figures. That guy was such a major asshole.

by Clark F. Kent December 6, 2019

Karmenu

A person who is a fat cunt. He is also a simp and needs to lose weight. He especially likes girls with the name Sarah.

Your a Karmenu you fat nigger.

by ForzaJuve November 29, 2020

Karmatically

It is a word used to say that Shawn is wrong or incorrect.

Shawn: "My life is karmatically correct!"
Person 1: "You're just saying that you are wrong or incorrect"

by Bluebxrrii September 3, 2023

nail karma

The act of looking for and picking up nails, screws, and other sharp objects when walking near or on streets and alleys, so as to help prevent oneself and others from getting flat tires. For best results, track your progress by keeping all found nails, screws, etc. in a jar.

I used to get a lot of flat tires until I discovered nail karma. I have two jars full of nails I've found!

by tomhartung September 21, 2009

autocorrect karma

When you type something into you smart phone that autocorrects into your true feelings.

Text 1 : Hey guys, would you rather spend your holidays
A) boozing with friends or
B) harming out with your family?

Text 2 : My bad, autocorrect karma, should have said "hanging out"

by Gronkage March 24, 2016

parking karma

The uncanny ability to find an open parking space in a desirable location of a busy parking lot.

I always have to park out in the boonies, but when I ride with Paul we're always in the front row. He's got some great parking karma.

by PaulieJr October 19, 2006

karman

Karman is the type of person you would never want to lose, they love to joke around but in their own way. Its a unique way. They are really cute and shy in front of others but the minute no one is looking, the show begins. You can never cry when they are around. They can make you laugh when u can't even smile. They are also so so so pretty. If you find someone like that hold on tight.

Do you have a friend like karman.

by Camiya September 22, 2017