creationist

A person who thinks he/she knows more about science than an actual scientist.

I'm a good little God-fearing creationist and I believe evolution is a lie. I'm going to get in my CAR, go to the grocery store and buy FROZEN FOOD, go buy MEDICINE for my sick wife, go fill up my car with GASOLINE, go pay my ELECTRICITY and HEATING bill, and then I'll go home to my COMPUTER and complain on the INTERNET to the world about HOW EVIL SCIENCE IS!

by The Bad Guy February 7, 2007

creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!

Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...

by Carl Willis December 14, 2004

Creation of Adam

When you pass a spliff/joint/blunt to someone all the way across the room and you don't want to get up, so you both reach out your hands really far, so as to resemble Michelangelo's Sistine Ceiling.

with one hand cupped over mouth "dude, creation of adam" joint extended

by johnmb April 17, 2009

Creationism

A synonym for 'bullshit'.

Person A: I believe in creationism.
Person B: You are retarded.

by Corkeyno666 May 24, 2017

creationist

One who is stupid on purpose.
See moron

Creationist Dr. Kent Hovind: OK class, today we are going to be watching a documentary called the Flintstones. Repeat after me: Yabba Dabba Doo!!

by Firewalker239 December 9, 2008

Croatian Taco Tornado

Every girl's dream, no woman should die without experiencing the endless thrill and pleasure that the CTT provides. Only three ingredients are necessary: One Croatian male, one muscular uncontrollable tongue and one taco (aka vagina). After compiling these three ingredients your next move should be lowering your face to meet the taco while whipping your tongue around in a tornado-like motion (hopefully exceeding speeds of 88 mph) Then just listen and enjoy the moans... the groans... the "Oh god"'s and finally the "let's do THAT again".

guy 1: Yo man did you hear what Sime did last night to Bethany?
guy 2: Dude... I know... he totally hooked her up with the Croatian Taco Tornado!!
guy 1: Oh yeah that... well he also ate my butt hole later that night.

by Charliesheen3 July 15, 2011

creationism

This is a belief which was invented to explain why we are all here. Basically it states that the world was created by some greater being (God). But then who created God? The theory of Creationsim falls flat through stating the Earth is thousands of years old, despite the fact it was proved to be billions of years old through scientific research. Creationists mock the theory of evolution and condemn the teaching of evolution at school. Evolution seems like the most sensible theory to me. Ah, but then howcome there are so many gaps in the evolutionary pathway? For one thing, it is a real fluke that an animal survives in fossil form, a billion-to-one chance requiring exactly the right geological conditions. Yes, we have a lot of skeletons in museums, but they are nothing when you consider how many animals have existed over the history of time. For another thing, it has been suggested that evolution takes place in jumps rather than gradually (a new, more evolved species suddenly starts appearing, gradualy takes over the older species). As for the teaching of evolution at school, it is taught as a theory. You don't have to believe in it. On the other hand, teaching Creationism at school involves indoctrinating children. I still remember being told that "God is always watching us and can punish us if we act or think wrongly". It makes me laugh when certain Creationists complain about CCTV cameras everywhere or the government spying on us all. Beliefs like Creationism were the Big Brother and the CCTV cameras of their day, were used to control the working classes. Now George W Bush is talking about teaching Creationism in schools in the USA instead of evolution. I can't help feeling all he really wants to do is create a brainwashed army to fight a religious war against Muslims.

A certain Creationism-believing journalist equates anyone who believes in evolution with genocidal murderers, tells us how narrow-minded they are. That's funny, because the religious people I've met are some of the most narrow-minded, snobbish, hypoctrical bigots I've ever had the misfortune the come across.

by Stormsworder December 7, 2006