Wilton

A town in Connecticut idolized almost exclusively for its good schools and cheaper cost of living as compared to New Canaan or Darien. As such, a large percentage of Wilton's population does not have permanent residency plans and 'For-Sale' signs often coincide with graduation banners.

Wilton's pie de resistance is undoubtedly its High School, although you a preliminary visual inspection would not suggest this. The building is an architectural shit-show filled with choke-points, haphazard facility placement, and an unwelcomingly bureaucratic exterior.

There is a strikingly large gap between the high and low ends of Wilton's income spectrum, however, Wilton residents almost all share one thing in common. Everyone is white. 2015 census reports show that 93% of Wilton consists of White Caucasians. At one point in time, only 2 black families resided in Wilton out of approximately 16,000 people.

The teens of Wilton High School vary in background and motivation. A solid percentage are academic devotees who care passionately about securing their future economic success through the pursuit of resume fodder opportunities. Another large percentage consists of well-to-do jackoffs who skip school on the regular. And although the school administration will adamantly deny it, Wilton students are extremely racist, likely due to isolationism from racial struggle provided by what can only be described as the 'Wilton Bubble Effect'

I have a big penis.

Normal Person: Hey why did you move to Wilton?
Wilton Resident: Because the schools are very good and living as a housewife in a 3m dollar mansion will help me forget my marital problems.

Normal Person: I want to move to Wilton now because I hate myself
Wilton Resident: That's totally fine, would you mind rolling up your sleeve?
Normal Person: Sure *rolls up sleeve*
Wilton Resident: *screams* I didn't know you were a nig- I mean.... Are you sure you have enough money to move here? Maybe you should try Bridgeport. *calls police*

by Gon Bopsin August 20, 2019

Willco

seggsy hottie with a minecraft obsession

person 1: willco is seggsy
person 2: yes.

by glukgluk300 June 6, 2021

wilton pereira sampaio

Wilton Pereira Sampaio is a FRENCH FUCKING FAN and a Brazilian referee. He robbed England’s world cup match with france and is currently under investigation for falsely not awarding a penalty to England after Harry Kane was assaulted. He also didn’t foul France’s team for pushing Saka multiple times. He also was recently offered sexual factors by Mbappe (French player) for favourable decisions to France. He is a wanker and one of the most biggest prick of all time. 😘

Random person: Who is Wilton Pereira Sampaio?
Me: An undercover oui oui baguette muncher who rigged the EnglanvFrance match so he could do sexual acts with Mbappe
Random Person: Oh

by Jaylovesballs December 11, 2022

wilton

Wilton is the biggest waste of Fairfield County land mass in Connecticut. A mix of new and some old money, kids grow up thinking that the world revolves around them. Wilton is a bubble that has THE most USELESS stores possible: GAP, Chicos, etc. The movie theatre and Starbucks have only been there for about 4 years. Come people - who really needs 2 grocery stores: Village Market (for pretentious Wiltonians who rather pay more for their Bisquik at some snooty "market" where you'll find some of the very few high schoolers who actually work) and Stop & Shop. Come hang out in "The Center" - everything closes at 9:30...except Coldstone- don't get too excited. J.Crew and Abercrombie rule. There are more Coach bags in Wilton than sober/clean middle schoolers. Roads suck here - so do the cops who insist on pulling over EVERYONE for speeding and what not...there is nothing else for them to do here. It's in the woods. Too many bugs. Wranglers (the cars of choice...for some nauseatingly odd reason) and 745is risk colliding with rampant deer on winding, narrow pathways referred to as roads. Wiltonians worship Kristine Lilly and have named everything from streets to fields after her. Everyone either plays LAX, field hockey or soccer. Play another sport and suffer the consequences: ridicule and poor funding. The only good thing about Wilton is that its an hour train ride away from NYC. Get out while you can...or stop by Trackside for a good time ;)

"Hey Sarah - After class lets go to the Wilton LAX game."
"For sure, and then we can go hang out in the center and maybe get a Frappachino at Starbucks!"

by *wilton's phinest* September 7, 2005

wilton

1) The town where 95% of the successful parents are secretly alcoholics
2) The town where Mohammed, Alah, Jesus, Batman, and the marijuana leaf where born (not Moses because noone likes him)

Hey lets go to Wilton's town center cuz we are cool!

by Jesus Chris aka the docta July 15, 2008

wilco

Country music on ACID!

Yo, bitch did j00 listen to da wilco?

Naw nigga, dat shiet is country myoozic on acid!

by i swear.. August 7, 2004

Wilton High School Girls Swim Team .. what a joke

1. Ugly Men
2. Butch
3. LOSERS
4. Lost to New Canaan Girls Swim & Dive Team
5. Poor exuse for good sportsmanship
6. Hey - Kit Harding...
STEP DOWN.
7. They have a diving team??? ...
8. Wish they were the New Canaan Girls Swim Team's rival.... (b/c they aren't good enough to have a rival)...
9. GUESS YOU'RE GUNNA HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN MAKING T-SHIRTS THAT SAY "Ramburger" ...
10. ...Bitches.

"Got Ramburgers??" .... HAHA... you're cool.

by ~ * NC RAMS! ~ * April 5, 2005