Vladimir Putin
Man of diminutive stature with enormous, usually nationalist chip on his shoulder. Vladimir Putins
will attempt to combat the shame felt over their height and the disgraceful state of their country/countrymen by staging increasingly bizarre macho photo shoots, usually involving the persecution of a wild animal. The successful Vladimir Putin
will usually live among peasants, and skilfully manipulate their base instincts to create an unassailable power base. The Vladimir Putin tends to become increasingly detached from
reality in the absence of criticism from his subjugated peasant hordes, and finds himself driven to indulge in increasingly inappropriate behaviour such as singing, dancing, expounding the virtues of “Rep
music”, and instructing the wives of world leaders to make cabbage soup. He
will normally benefit from a complete absence of the concept of
irony among his followers, allowing almost all barriers of bad taste and cringeworthiness to be smashed down without
fear of reprisal.
I wouldn’t let your dog anywhere near that little
weirdo. He’s a real Vladimir
Putin. Before you know it he’ll have
ripped his shirt off, sung heartbreak hotel and strangled it.
