Spatchcock

To masturbate so aggressively that you cause harm.

She spatchcocked me so hard I couldn't walk for a week!

by ADignorantium November 29, 2019

Spatch

To spank one's snatch (or "cooter").

"Dude, I just spatched your mom last night."
"Dude, that's not cool, my mom's a nice lady."

by Juggy Brodleteen November 18, 2011

Spatchcocking

When a wife covers her own ass by claiming her husband's incompetence or unwillingness resulted in failure or error when the actual root cause was her own inability or unwillingness to communicate clearly or effectively.

"My wife blamed the Thanksgiving turkey on my bad back."
"Dude, that's spatchcocking. You got spatchcocked."

by Celestin March 2, 2016

spotchy

Flicking a paint brush against a canvas with paint the canvas becomes or looks spotchy. Or flicking your penis after a male orgasms on a girls face or body making the girl look spotchy. When first awaking from a deep sleep a person's eyes sight may be a bit spothcy seeing blury colorful spots.

After shooting my load on your face you look spotchy.

I am spotching paint on the canvas.

by gasay March 7, 2007

SPATCH-COCK

A serail drunark who continuously gets smashed, hits on women well above his league, tries anxiously to phone his on/off girlfriend and repeatedly crashes out due to exuberant use of a glass of beer. Welcome to the world of the spatch-cock.

1 beer: Marc says "hows life guys?"
2 beers: Marc says "fuck off ya bawbag"
3 beers: Marc says "Your a chamsie shatner"
4 beers: Marc says " They all want it, every last one of them!"
several beers later: After picking 3 fights with his own pals, Marc decides to wander aimlessly through the night club, hiccupping on his journey, trying to find the nicest girl to get slapped from. "Marc, you alright?"
"Im fine ya cunt"
"gie that burd peace, shes not interested!"
"they all want me, hiccup"
"Marc, were going hame, come on"
"aye wait up, I hate yous, I hate yous aw"
"Aye, very good Marc, ya spatch-cock"

by Rupert Shucks March 9, 2004

smatchy chawch

An asshole that smells sour

That guy's a smatchy chawch

by Drunkisish May 21, 2017

spatchulate

To use the kitchen utensil to please ones sexual needs

Lets just hope that spatchula dont rust off your luv juices !!!

by Twiggy August 3, 2004