Constimate

To legitimize a marriage by have anal sex for the first time.

"Hey did you and Mary constimate the marriage yet?" "Yeah man she couldn't poop for hours after."

by SemiNation October 18, 2014

Sexy Constipation

Adjective.

A word used to describe a certain spencies fb profile picture aka hair poof + uber makeup + confused horny face = sexy constipation.

Waldo: Hey dude, u see Sumo's profile pic?
Gregorio: Yeah, total sexy constipation!

by TheGingerMuffin January 9, 2011

Constipation Masturbation

To masturbate wile constipated, or to masturbate on the toilet wile taking a great big ass poop :-)!

The guy was performing Constipation Masturbation to himself wile he was pooping :-P

by Andrew...aka...[CnW]Kill$hot September 30, 2007

Passport constipation

When you have applied for a passport with the US Government 6 months ago and you are leaving tomorrow and still can't squeeze out a passport for your spring break trip!

Hey Tracy: Have you received your passport yet for our trip to Punta Cana on Friday?

Tracy: Hell no, the US governemnet has passport constipation! They can't seem to squeeze out the passport I applied for 6 months ago!-

by MaxtheCameraMan April 4, 2009

Constipation Contraction

A contipation contraction is when your anus / gluteus maximus muscles contract strongly causing a sharp and very uncomfortable pain, usually the same pain experiencenced whilst experiencing constipation. The contractions aren't always indicating constipation but there's a good chance it may follow.

Ben: *lift ass off chair and screechs in pain*
Josh: what's wrong?
Ben: Just had a constipation contraction -- ouch.
Josh: haha. eat too much cheese?

by okaythen873 July 31, 2009

constibating

When you are unable to defecate and pass the time by masturbating on the toilet.

Dude, I couldn't take a dump last night, so I just started constibating.

by Rapaca November 16, 2014

Constipation Stroke

When you try to shit but can’t so you make the effort worthwhile by giving yourself a good old fashioned wank and rubbing one out before flushing and hoping the turd will pass next attempt. If not, repeat.

I’m on my third constipation stroke today. If I don’t blow the other way soon I may have to resort to an enema.

Sometimes I think he eats a poor diet just for the ability to constipation stroke.

by Dick Onchin January 11, 2022