baby beard

When a man attempts to grow a beard but his facial hair is so thin and inconsistent, it's as if it were a baby beard

When I told my man I liked facial hair, he decided to let it grow but all I see is a baby beard!

by GlazeHer April 22, 2015

Shit Beard

1. Disastrous facial hair.

2. Phrase used as an expletive to describe the owner of said faical hair.

3. Aftermath of administering a rim job

See also: chin squig, bum fluff, bunting, goon features, W. G. Grace, Robin Cook, The Blunkett, Spinoza, crumpet head, croon muncher, toffee cheeks, Malcolm Glazer

John shouted at Nick 'Oi, Shit Beard! Shave you twat!' As Nick was the owner of a preposterous chin squig, he relented and consented, to much jubilation.

by Beans v The G May 20, 2005

Bearded Mesquito

The unfortunate male disorder where the penis is one quarter the circumference of a #2 pencil. Usually in the case of this "Micro Penis" the shaft has been covered with pubes just under the mushroom cap of the penis.

Girl - "You got to be fucking kidding me...!"

Guy - "What?" (as he stands there with pants around ankles)

Girl - "Ummm your dick looks like a bearded mesquito."

Guy - "Fuck you, most chicks think it's cute."

Girl - "It may be cute, but it's useless to me as I can get off better using a half eaten wet triscuit cracker on my clit"

by dangchicago April 17, 2009

ugly bearded fuck head

dirty, smelly, and just plain old ugly man. Has a small penis as well. Generally enjoys taking poops in urinals.

Petet (fuck head) Drake

by Adrian Manghisi November 21, 2002

Bearded Shrimp

When having sex on the beach after engaging in intercourse for a while, slip yourself and stick your penis in the sand. After coating yourself nicely place yourself back into your female companion and hang on for the ride.

We were at the beach and she was hassling me so I decided to slip her the bearded shrimp while going at it.

by smeghead February 4, 2005

Black Beard

Noun; When a guy goes down on a girl that has left her tampon in for way too long and gets the tampon strong stuck in his teeth. He then proceeds to shake his head vigorously, in a panic, to free the tampon from his teeth, thus resulting in massive amounts of old black blood splattering on his face creating a "Black Beard".
In most cases a "black beard" can be avoided by recognizing the rotting odor coming from within.
Remember sniff first!

Rex was about to go down on sara when he remembered rule #1: Sniff First. Rex avoided a "Black Beard" by the hair on his chinny chin chin.

by Patty Mayonnaise the 2nd November 29, 2011

Beard

The best solution to any problem. A sort of spiritual band-aid that's only effective when used by men.

Dude, my girlfriend dumped me, but I grew this beard and now I feel great!

by sweatervest December 4, 2009