email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.

"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."

by JaxMP August 8, 2018

masturbation procrastination

When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.

Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.

by dddisaster November 29, 2016

oregon masturbator

Infamous public masturbator in Oregon.

Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.

by Podesta XD June 9, 2018

tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time

damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation

by brysonnn November 28, 2022

Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.

His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.

by LemmyForever December 19, 2021

intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.

Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.

by Patriot-X April 25, 2010