"Boy howdy, you seen that Benjamin Pranklin? That boy sure does play tricks and/or practical jokes upon others."
by Dilpermingliogonophlongus October 14, 2022
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benjamin johnathan briggery briggs aka "the skinwalker" , "boogalie" or simply "it", is a large, lankey, orange being known to roam around public parks and lithuanian embassys during the night trying to capture little boys to use in its experiments. it is known for being a test subject for heffley trafficking inc. its true form is believed to be so revolting, slimy, hideous, oily and dandruffy that anyone who comes into contact with it is simply too shocked and horrified to breath. for centuries there have been reported sightings of it and its lovers, xaviwavi, jamal and zac. in order to summon this ungodly creature the words "i cant do a pushup" , "i enjoy watching porn" or simply "we go jim" must be recited 3x and it is believed to show up immeadiatley and suck you through its phat hairy orange arsehole to the heffley trafficking inc dimension where you or your test subject will be experimented on. there are some well known repellants that have been used against it are: basic hygene, regular porn, hentai, women and people who are against crypto.
A- "bro there was some 8ft thingy hiding near that house!"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"
by sharon6969420 November 20, 2022
Get the benjamin johnathan briggery briggs mug.Benjamin is a quiet guy, but once you get past the outer shell, he is kind and caring and a great friend. he will stick by you no matter what people say about you and is quick to forgive.
by the >alpha December 2, 2022
Get the Benjamin mug.This is the type of boy you will want to marry unless he breaks your heart. Although his blue green eyes are pretty don’t let them decieve you. He is a bit of a hottie tho wearing his footy shorts to show off how fit he is. He loves kids and is the perfect guy you want to marry. He is kind and his mullet makes him even better. So if you read this marry the next benjamin you see unless your name starts with a z or t or a or r.
by notbenjieboi2 September 6, 2022
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Get the Benjamin mug.Benjamin Evelyn Waters:
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
“Here lies Benjamin Evelyn Waters amidst a field of roses.
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
by Lather Me With Butter September 20, 2022
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