tablequake

The vibration you feel when someone else's PDA or cellphone vibrates on the table at which you are sitting, especially when that device is unseen and unheard.

While the hottie at the bar went to the bathroom, the cellphone in her purse sent out several tablequakes of such magnitude that I thought she had a personal massager tucked in there. So I had to take a look.

by mattand666 May 3, 2011

Table Gooch

The seam where where where two independent tables come together to form a larger table to when pulling two or more independent tables together

Bummer man. My drink's haphazardly balanced on the table gooch.

by Richard Ballz September 2, 2012

Table addict

Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.

At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.

"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.

by stuntmidget January 16, 2012

table-legged

The act of attempting to level a wobbly table that has one leg shorter than the others. Usually resulting in reducing a dinner table to the height of a coffee table.

I just table-legged my haircut, (by trying to even out the ends).

by JD Too February 18, 2013

Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

by SaladFork May 13, 2013

Table Lice

The young, usually white, girls who hang out next to the rope in a nightclub's VIP section waiting to be summoned to the table of a gentleman with bottle service. Usually identified by their H&M knock-offs of Herve Leger bandage dresses, these girls are quick to drink your liquor and leave when you run out of vodka. Their retreat is usually marked by loss of cell phone, tears, and walking away barefoot holding Steve Madden heels in their hands. The normal migration home includes vomiting in the back of an Uber or catching the very last train to Suffolk/Nassau/Westchester County or New Jersey.

John: Man, I'm glad we got a table tonight.
Greg: Yeah me too, the table lice are actually pretty strong here. Let's grab that group of three on the edge of the rope over there.

by The_Dabbler April 22, 2016

Tablenuts

nickname given to a loose woman who likes to fondle balls underneath a table; usually at a social event or dinner

Dude, did you fuck "tablenuts" last night? She was toe-ing your balls like a champ at dinner.

by WellLo July 10, 2016