oregon masturbator

Infamous public masturbator in Oregon.

Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.

by Podesta XD June 9, 2018

Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.

"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"

by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

Masturbation Paralyzation

When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!

by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina June 3, 2018

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

Big Masturbation

The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma

Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium

by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020

Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.

"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."

by JaxMP August 8, 2018

intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.

Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.

by Patriot-X April 25, 2010