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Out Of Touch Cunts

The only sensible way to describe the colossally oblivious staff at Urban Dictionary, who wouldn't be able to spot culturally relevant humour if it was fashioned into a .50 caliber machine gun round and fired into their gormless, fuckwitted faces.
You are Out Of Touch Cunts.
Out Of Touch Cunts is what you are.
Tourist: "Excusez moi, I was 'oping to locate some utterly clueless fuckwits to mock. I am a long way from 'ome and 'ave no idea where to look."
Helpful person: "Sadly, you aren't actually in America, so the number of utterly clueless fuckwits is going to be quite low. What you need to do is visit the on-line Urban Dictionary. The people that run that thing are such brainless shit-cunts that I'd be surprised if they weren't ALL American! Hahahaha!"
Tourist: "Hahahahahaha! They must be real Out Of Touch Cunts, nes pas?"
Helpful person: " Yes! They really are! Utter fucking wankstains, the lot of them! Allegedly!"
by Dubwar666 May 14, 2019
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Don't touch my junk!

Infamous, now viral, phrase uttered by John Tyner of Oceanside after refusing to be subjected to an airport body scanner and subsequent thorough pat down.

Can also be used in any social setting where you just want people to stop bothering you with uninteresting things.
TSA - "Sir, we need to pat you down..."
JT - "Don't touch my junk!"

Boring friend- "Hey man, you want to see these slides from my family summer vacation?"

JT - Don't touch my junk!"
by alexgb72 November 19, 2010
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Touch My Mafia

A cosplay group on DeviantArt that consists of Redustrial, Maxieyi, Remei-No-Shi & Isis0123
did you see the new touch my mafia cosplay video? its awesome!
by Anaabelley September 28, 2010
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Touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self

The original form of the expression "check yourself before you wreck yourself". It simply means that before doing something that could have negative consequences you should always masturbate.
LaBonaynayshaquiartisha: I'ma knife that manstealin ho LaFoundaquisha right in her damb ovary!
Mayonnaise: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllll, you need to touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self!
by KKK Here to Stay! May 31, 2011
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touching the unicorn

To reach a state of devine inebriation.

Somebody is said to be touching the unicorn when at the peak of a psychedelic drug trip.
Morgan took just enough magic mushrooms to be nicely touching the unicorn.

This acid is weak mate you told me i would be touching the unicorn after only half a tab. give me my money back
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touched roads

After serving time in jail or prison and you are finally released.
Man 1: Yo my nigga just touched roads

Man 2: say honest, how long was he in for

Man 1: 1 week for stealing an old lady purse

Man 2: say honest, he better not get back in
by TorontoGs April 11, 2018
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touchitannaa

she is a acc on #stan twitter she got in beef with useser @babbxo but she stayed on twitter
touchitannaa
by touchitanna October 14, 2020
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