table-stalking

When you are at a resturant without a waiter that is really crowded, and you look for people that look almost done with their food and stay near their table until they leave, so you can get the table before other people.

When I was at 5 Guys, it was so crowded, I had to stalk tables, I even had everyone split up so we could get a table.

Man 1: Hey! You can't take that table! I was next in line!

Man 2: Yeah, but I was table-stalking it already.

by pseudonymousbosch12345 October 22, 2010

tablequake

The vibration you feel when someone else's PDA or cellphone vibrates on the table at which you are sitting, especially when that device is unseen and unheard.

While the hottie at the bar went to the bathroom, the cellphone in her purse sent out several tablequakes of such magnitude that I thought she had a personal massager tucked in there. So I had to take a look.

by mattand666 May 3, 2011

Table addict

Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.

At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.

"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.

by stuntmidget January 16, 2012

Table Gooch

The seam where where where two independent tables come together to form a larger table to when pulling two or more independent tables together

Bummer man. My drink's haphazardly balanced on the table gooch.

by Richard Ballz September 2, 2012

table-legged

The act of attempting to level a wobbly table that has one leg shorter than the others. Usually resulting in reducing a dinner table to the height of a coffee table.

I just table-legged my haircut, (by trying to even out the ends).

by JD Too February 18, 2013

Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

by SaladFork May 13, 2013

tablet addict

A person addicted to their electronic tablet (iPad, Galaxy Tablet, Kindle Fire, etc.). This person can often be seen with a tablet pressed up to their face as they walk around. They often smash into people or objects, only to apologize and continue walking with the tablet pressed up to their face.

Guy1: Did you just see Laura?!
Guy2: No, what happened?
Guy1: She just smashed into that guy with her tablet and kept walking like nothing happened!
Guy2: That figures, she's such a tablet addict.

by Bed Nigby May 3, 2014