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masturbation

Gods Gift for those who are ugly and never get laid to jerk off their desires
god:oh this ugly guy needs some pleasure let me create a tool
called masturbation to make him pleasure himself and feel what
it will be like to have sex
by chin345 December 4, 2007
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masturbation

When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!
Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!
by Ultra-Ex August 5, 2008
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Masturbation

A sin that offends God
My son had masturbation today and now he worries me because he offended Jesus Christ My God.
by Ghosthunter7444 July 26, 2016
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masterbation spot

a place in online games (like black ops, MW2, ect.) were you can hide for long enough to fap without the fear or getting killed.
matt wanted to fap, but he was playing black ops so he found a good masterbation spot and got the job done.
by snowboardingafghan August 23, 2011
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masterbation

its been quite a while since you got some
and you miss that good feeling
so you retreat to bed earlier than usual
take off your clothes
caress yourself, play yourself

until you hit the note
breathing slowly goes down
and you fall asleep piecefully
Do you do masterbation?
No.
(thinks) of course you do
by Krkič July 2, 2019
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masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it
Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."
by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011
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insult masturbation

a self-inflicted diss
Jack: I'm ugly
Jill: My jokes aren't funny
Oscar: Stop with the insult masturbation, you two!
by yomommaisallama September 21, 2011
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