turd life

Turd life: If you live the turd life you are the absolute shit. You are awesome. You are always on Dejanae Dillard and Zawanna Bailey's level.

The way a bad bitch or a boss nigga lives. Living like larry the lobster. Living like you dont have any cares while your swag is on point. Thats how you live the turd life.

by djtooawesome123 May 6, 2014

turd laces

A very thin in diameter, unsatisfying dumpski. Usually preceded and followed by multiple farts.

Dude, I sat down to drop a deuce, but all I got were turd laces.

by Big Daddy Steve August 15, 2007

Turd Courier

A person who carriers a human shit through customs in his or her suitcase.

The shit is produced at the end of the victims 18-30 holiday as he or she prepares to fly home. The turd is placed into another tourist's packed suitcase (in a plastic bag or dropped directly) without their prior knowledge. The suitcase is then be zipped back up and nothing more will be said by the perpetrator until the unsuspecting victim has reclaimed their luggage and left for the airport.

"That bitch has fucked me up on this holiday - she's going to be my turd courier."

by nomercy82 October 4, 2011

turd texting

Texting on your cell while taking a dump.

David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.

Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"

David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"

by LouWho December 9, 2008

Rosey Turd

Someone who thinks their shit doesn't stink.

Sonya is such a rosey turd.

by Claudia_____ May 13, 2010

butcher's turd

A standard of unimaginable richness, originally used to complement a host's cooking at polite dinner parties. Latterly - and frankly much more amusingly - used to indicate extreme hypocrisy in the actions of public figures.

"Mrs Bennet, I do declare, your devilled kidneys really are as rich as a butcher's turd" - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'. "Straight from invading Iraq and Afganistan, Tony Blair has laid a fresh butcher's turd by accepting the role of Middle East Peace Envoy" - Jon Snow, Channel 4 News.

by TheBigg6 August 31, 2010

turd inspector

Accidently swallowing something valuable so you have to wait till poo time to go looking for it.

My girlfriend likes to suck her fingers when we have sex. She plays with herself so her juices are all over her fingers but the other day she swallowed her ring and guess who had to be the turd inspector ?!

by AGnumbnuts November 16, 2011