A cop was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The cop was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the cop stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled cop demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated drunk."
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The cop was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the cop stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled cop demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated drunk."
by Crawdadz January 1, 2009
Get the Designated Drunkmug. An alcohol induced coma that nearly removes all sense of awareness yet creates and maintains a blissful state of being. Complimented by the miraculous avoidance of potential social and biological hazards, this drunk cannot be sought but only stumbled into.
by Macro, Son, Semen, Steve January 30, 2009
Get the Perfect drunkmug. To drink alcohol in surplus amounts with no respect for one's appearance, coherency, and personal safety until inevitably vomiting and passing out.
"Man I was so fucked up last night, i was definitely rob drunk."
"Dude, you were rob drunk last night."
"Dude, you were rob drunk last night."
by PallMall May 13, 2010
Get the Rob Drunkmug. to wake up after a night of drinking and be incredibly horny, for no reason whatsoever, other than the fact that you got drunk the night before.
A:what's the matter with you?
B: I am really horny
A: Why?
B: I dont know. I got really drunk last night, it must be the drunk hornies.
B: I am really horny
A: Why?
B: I dont know. I got really drunk last night, it must be the drunk hornies.
by J. Chris A. October 14, 2008
Get the drunk horniesmug. A statement repeated by girls when they get drunk, especially ones who can't get enough attention when they are sober. This is interchangeable with "I'm SOOO DRUNK."
by Ryland Brack November 8, 2007
Get the i'm not drunkmug. typing while intoxicated without fixing multiple errors even though the author knows they are messed up
by Bastard_Kid_Kris March 3, 2005
Get the e-drunkmug. When you get so smashed that you perform crazy antics, you become known by everyone at the party as "the drunk guy" and you don't remember a single thing the next morning.
by WLU October 21, 2005
Get the Vern-Drunkmug.