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holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction
Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.
by Dman1011 February 21, 2023
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Masturbation-Probation

A Chance To Redeem Yourself During No-Nut-November.
BIGGIEYYY: No! I Just Failed No-Nut-November!

Madajio: Chill Dude, Your Just On Masturbation-Probation Now.
by Madajio Júan-Pablo December 24, 2021
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Intellectual masturbation

A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.
They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.
by SollyDMonkey July 3, 2022
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metaphysical masturbation

When you find your way from day dreaming about sex to full on intercourse with your mind. No touching of the genitals. Just that pure, raw, emotional feeling. Your internal love is enough to propel you to climax. Usually done whilst laying in bed, thinking about a significant other or a crush.
I love her so much, whenever I think about her I find myself endulging in metaphysical masturbation.
by JGUMBY April 16, 2019
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masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.
Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.
by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022
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gravitational masturbation

When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets
Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system

Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison
by looneylobs August 5, 2017
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Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another
Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023
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