Masturbation Paralyzation

When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
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masturbation procrastination

When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.
Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.
by dddisaster November 29, 2016
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masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.
Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.
by timmy the fat nigger February 09, 2022
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Air Masturbation

Air masturbation is when a woman sucks air in and out of her vagina or asshole to masturbate with it.
"I heard weird sucking and farting noises coming from her room for the past 10 minutes. She must have been using Air Masturbation.
by baronessjeans April 28, 2018
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Intellectual masturbation

A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.
They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.
by SollyDMonkey July 04, 2022
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Big Masturbation

The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma
Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium
by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020
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Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.
His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.
by LemmyForever December 20, 2021
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