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Conversational Jesus

A person with the ability to turn a conversation about water into a conversation about wine.
A: After my work-out i was really thirsty, i would have killed for some water.
B: Then why didn't you just un-cork a good bottle?
A: Un-cork? .... are you talking about wine again?
B: Of course, what else?
A: Man, you'r a true Conversational Jesus!..
by Darkwing Warming April 20, 2011
mugGet the Conversational Jesusmug.

Raccoon Jesus

A (God) that is praised by Racc Clan, is extremely powerful and is one of the most powerful creation in the universe.

Chosen every 1000 years by a chosen member of Racc Clan. The commander and chief of Racc clan
He is as powerful as Raccoon Jesus
by RaccBoi November 16, 2019
mugGet the Raccoon Jesusmug.

steakhouse jesus

Male with athletic build that is well versed in a multitude of aspects. Typically always down for a party while still being able to be counted on in times of need. Most assuredly a Harley Dyna rider who's got cool facial hair. Can quote most any movie from the 80's and carries a knife. Bib optional.
The party was pretty stale until Steakhouse Jesus showed up. That dude ripped up an 8 ball and got everybody drunk. When a bar fight broke out he stopped it with one hand. He even got a tip from the strippers, man. That dude knows how to get down.
by mötleylou June 11, 2020
mugGet the steakhouse jesusmug.

khaki jesus

Khaki Jesus aka Steve Irwin. He is the only person to rock a pair of generic khakis
Friend 1: have you ever heard of Steve Irwin

Friend 2: do you mean khaki Jesus
by Gopackmc September 28, 2020
mugGet the khaki jesusmug.

jesus seam

The Jesus seam is the vertical hemispherical ridge across a man's testicles implying this is where God welded or stitched him together.
I got kicked right in the balls so hard I thought I split my Jesus seam.
by Sicrowell May 19, 2016
mugGet the jesus seammug.

jesus fetish

1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.

2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.
Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?

Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!

Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.
by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 2, 2022
mugGet the jesus fetishmug.

Jesus in a lightbulb

The thing that appears above your head when you think to yourself, either silently or out loud, "WWJD?"

When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.
Dude: "Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have pocketed that $20 that just fell outta that lil' ol' lady's purse...."

(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).
by munchkin'smom July 24, 2011
mugGet the Jesus in a lightbulbmug.

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