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Fap Handed

To receive a hand job aka a handy or old fashioned.
Your mom fap handed me under the dinner table last night.

My uncle snuck in my room and fap handed me.

The coach caught the team as they fap handed each other in the locker room.
by Eaton Holgoode December 1, 2017
mugGet the Fap Handedmug.

stabbing the hand

Masturbation when done by a male. The man's penis is thrust into a hole created by the hand quickly and repeatedly until he ejaculates.
1. I need to find a love box for my pork sword, I've been stabbing my hand too much lately.

2. You would've thought I wanted to commit murder last night, I was stabbing the hand all night long.
by The eradicator July 15, 2007
mugGet the stabbing the handmug.

sub hands

When your forelimb extremities become deliciously pleasant-smelling after eating a big, juicy, and meaty submarine sandwich fully-loaded with toppings and dressings.

Sub hands are often common to fat people, and individuals present with them are usually avoided by anorexic whores and gay dudes.
1) "I had a fucking amazing lunch earlier at Firehouse Subs, but now I'm constantly catching myself sniffing my aromatic sub hands."

2) Girl: "Rob is so sexy, but he always has sub hands. It's such a turn off."
Boy: "I couldn't agree more with you."
by Lot C January 5, 2011
mugGet the sub handsmug.

Hand Unit

The asshole who autocorrectedMichael Afton” to “Eggs Benedict
Michael: Hand unit changed my correct name to a food.
by iamoftheschitter December 28, 2021
mugGet the Hand Unitmug.

1800 Hands

It's like Edward 40 hands but you use two bottles of 1800 silver tequila. Has only been attempted twice, first time being a total disaster, the second being one of the greatest achievements of our time. Only true men, and true women will succeed but all must attempt at least once in their lifetime. Then and only then one can say they truly lived.
John: yeah I'm a successful business owner, father, multi-billionaire. I have definitely lived my life to the fullest
Dave: yeah but did you do 1800 Hands?
John: No.
Dave: then how could you have possibly lived your life.
John: good point, let's do it tonight!

John died later that night, not because of the alcohol poisoning, because he finally truly lived
by imdaddrmaster January 17, 2021
mugGet the 1800 Handsmug.

dirty-handing

getting germy; touching dirty stuff
OMG, you need to wash your hand now...I've been walking all over the house today, dirty-handing, and I pick that thing up all the time. Wash your hands please
by never99 February 2, 2021
mugGet the dirty-handingmug.

Hand Creamer

A male that chronically masturbates. Usually unemployed, lives at home and what little income he has is spent on porn.
Jon is a hand creamer. Can’t believe his mom doesn’t boot him out.

Online porn has turned me into a hand creamer.
by Eaton Holgoode June 4, 2018
mugGet the Hand Creamermug.

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