crank the hog

The most aggressive style of masturbating your chode, resulting from one not getting laid.

Yea boys, sorry I'm late. My girl was being a bitch and told me she flicked her bean earlier...So I had a crank the hog.

by fortsorcrankhog April 2, 2024

Pokey bum posh asphixi crank

Pokey bum wank

+

Posh wank

+

Asphixi wank

+

Cry and a wank

=

All the emotions

“Any plans this evening?” she asked.
“Probably try a pokey bum posh asphixi crank.” I replied.

by Diamonds & Crowns September 4, 2022

Anne Crank

Anne Crank, an “angry cry wank”

Angrily stimulating one's genitals with one's hand for sexual pleasure while simultaneously weeping.

Example 1: I am hiding in the attic, the nazis are banging at the door, I am angry, upset and masturbating vigorously. I’m having an Anne Crank.

Example 2: Lee seems very angry and upset today! Maybe he should go for an Anne Crank!

Example 3: After a long, hard, stressful day at work, all Harry wanted to do when he got home was have an Anne Crank.

by JittyMan November 1, 2022

Triple jingle crank

A made up term helping innocent girls avoid coming to terms with the fact they just jerked off two guys to failed execution

Chad: Lauren just ski poled us
Mart: yea
Lauren: come sign this flag commemorating our triple jingle crank

All: wtf

by EggieOnAHeggie September 10, 2021

crank salad

when you mix a little but of multiple kinds of weed (concentrates/manufactured allowed NO SYNTHS OR EDIBLES!!!!!)

Oh man we're gonna smoke some crank salad

by Ritz Scythe March 19, 2021

Cranking a nut

Also known as making a U turn, or turning around while driving

Shit I made a wrong turn, hold i’m cranking a nut

by Rileylmfao August 4, 2019

religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.

When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")

by QuacksO September 30, 2020