pet jesus

A pet about 40 cm's tall. It waddles around like a penguin and sucks in its checks. It cannot talk. You hold it on a leach and it occasionally tugs on your skirt but only because it wants attention. They look like a miniature versions of Jesus, hence the reason for the name.. They cannot blink but have huge eyes and very small pupils. Pet Jesus's wear a typical Jesus style garment and only eat crackers...lots and lots of crackers..... They do not drink anything.

A pet jesus makes an adorable pet yet they are commonly found at the pound as their owners get tired of them because they are a constant nuisance. They are also incredibly creepy, for example they do not sleep. When you go to bed it will stand right next to your bed and stare at you for the duration of the night and most people find this incredibly violating and terrifying...
John: Hey bob, i see you have brought along your pet jesus

Bob: Yup, got any crackers?

John: Sure Thaaaang!
by Petjesus November 10, 2010
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drinking with jesus

The act of drinking in solitude without the connotation of being an alcoholic.
-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.
by yeeserious October 20, 2005
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Jesus Land

Any state that gave Bush the electoral vote. Usually directed at the south.
Jesus Land loves you!
by JohnJohn1186 November 10, 2004
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Raccoon Jesus

A (God) that is praised by Racc Clan, is extremely powerful and is one of the most powerful creation in the universe.

Chosen every 1000 years by a chosen member of Racc Clan. The commander and chief of Racc clan
He is as powerful as Raccoon Jesus
by RaccBoi November 17, 2019
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out-Jesus

verb - To attempt to appear more pious or religious than someone else for personal gain.
The two conservative candidates didn't even talk about the important issues in their campaign ads, they just kept trying to out-Jesus each other.
by thatguy@31 May 27, 2006
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jesus fetish

1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.

2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.
Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?

Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!

Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.
by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 03, 2022
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Jesus rail

n.

The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.
(in car, Driver accelerates)

Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!

Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!

etc.
by SilverGirl78 March 23, 2011
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