Dad's Snoring

The snoring that your father makes that can cause bad ear damage or worse
The snoring that makes birds fall out of trees and crickets stop chirping

Josh: Hey James, why is everyone walking away from you?
James:...
Josh: Bro why won't you answer me?
Me: Didn't you hear? His Dad's snoring caused him permanent ear damage. Dad's snoring is contagious.

by Ariel Aries April 4, 2021

Flag

Get the Dad's Snoring mug.

divorced dad

quackity.

“hey! have you seen a divorced dad recently?”
quackity: 🧍

by h3atwaves_ April 19, 2021

Flag

Get the divorced dad mug.

dad move

When somebody or something disappears with or without reason.

"Damn, Joey just pulled a dad move."

by e grill September 6, 2022

Flag

Get the dad move mug.

Deadbeat Dad

A Dad who tells everyone he loves and misses his kids but makes no effort to see them, doesn't pay to make their lives better and doesn't put them on his priorities list. So next time you hear how much he misses them, inform him that actions speak louder than words and to his kids his love seems like hate.

That Lee has posted another story with him and he kids how he will do anything for them. He only sees them once a week and fobs them off at any chance. He's such a deadbeat dad!

by LFC_Fan December 20, 2021

Flag

Get the Deadbeat Dad mug.

unholy dad

I wanna be that that’s just an inside joke, a thug that’s pulling a Freddy boy who’s got a personal relationship with his hoes calls them when he’s not around his wife since the money and hides every single check or transaction that he makes a con he is an unholy. Dad leaves his kids at home with his wife while he’s out there, playing cards with hoes at the strip club. He gets his boy with him, they stay up all night on drugs spending money comes back home and lies to his wife straight in her face. He does this constantly throughout his life the day he married he said it was forever, but what’s forever without a little fun without a little lie, he continues his lifestyle as a mole And thinks he will never get caught. He has anonymously continue to dig himself a deeper hole doesn’t believe in God and thinks that it’s God‘s fault he will continue to be swimming in his own misery. You’ll never know when you see this man if he’s true, or not, but a married man, that is unholy is a con. He will rip your heart out the day you meet him, or if I say become one of his hoes.

Daughter-Hey dad, where are you going? Mom said that you were going to go to the store can you get me something?
Unholy dad-yeah sure, what do you want?
Daughter-I’ll take a Coke and some chips please
Unholy dad-OK
He leaves to the store looks at his phone is already got hoes, lined up messaging and calling him wanting to know what he’s doing next because he has not been where they are so they’re asking about where his whereabouts are.
He makes up lies as he goes. He’s really good at it while he’s taking a while. He’s getting his work done on the side. And all the while he comes back home and forgets his daughters chips and her Coke must be hard to be an unholy doubt out there forgetting your child’s needs and keeping up with your own. How do you sleep at night?

by I slept with your cousin December 29, 2022

Flag