Religion

Did I already do my take on this?

Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."

by Hym Iam November 28, 2023

religion

a Word used to justify homophobia

a gay person : but i didnt choose to be gay

a homophobic religious person : but my religion says so

by gay!as!hell March 2, 2021

religion

Hope that will help you in life, but won't save you from life threatening situations with the best it can do being making you lucky to survive.

religion helped me in hoping that I never get in a fight with a crazy man with a gun. But when the time came, I survived after he missed a close shot and ran out of ammo

by ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。) June 10, 2021

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by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 7, 2025

Masonite religion

The Masonite religion A religion in which it is required to show their buttholes to join the church, fornication on the regular is also used to practice celebrate the holy one, marijuana use it a requirement when attending meetings. The holy one has the golden butthole, the holy ones buttholes are molded out of concrete slabs that can be seen at the Masonite church

Masonite religion

by Buttholemasonite September 17, 2021

The Religion of Peace

"The Religion of Peace" is a phrase that gained notoriety in the early 2000's after United States President George W. Bush used it following the 9/11 Attacks.

Though in popular culture, the phrase is used in an ironic manner to joke about Islamic Extremism in the world.

"Did you hear about the attack?"
"No I didn't. The Religion of Peace at it again?"

by OhioStateHater June 23, 2025

chopstick religion

the chopstick religion is a religion where the people believe the chopsticks are the true gods of life

“the chopstick religion is more of a cult then a religion..”

by 😌🥢 November 19, 2019