A respectable institution located in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The school mascot is a large variety of weasel known as the wolverine, and the school colors are corn and blue. This institution is characterized by students that truly believe that everyone hates them because they jealous of their extreme intellectual superiority and athletic talent. However outside of their "lovely" city/campus/slum, these elitist douchebags don't realize that everyone really hates them because (drumroll please)... they are elitist douchebags. These students are also characterized by their unfriendly attitude towards outsiders that will ultimately condemn them to a horrible fate of only befriending other fellow U of M cohorts. Throughout the rest of the state of Michigan, and for that matter, the rest of the United States, those who affiliate themselves with U of M are generally looked upon with disdain, pity, or outright disgust because of these unfounded self-righteous attitudes. Their non-student fan base is notorious for having a large amount of red-neck hicks too stupid to get into ANY institution of higher learning, and a student fan base famous for booing their own teams in times of trouble. At times, supporters and students of U of M can become so delusional as to believe that their institution is an Ivy League school, thus inspiring chuckles of patronizing pity from everyone who knows better. If one has the unfortunate luck of having to meet with a Wolverine supporter or student, one should disregard their truly pointless and pompous speeches about the superiority of this institution, and instead hand them a flashlight in order to help them in the quest of removing their head from their rectum.
"Hey Jimmy, what's that?"
"This? Oh, it's just my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan, Johnny."
"Wow, now everyone I know has one of those."
"Yeah, they offered me a four-year academic and athletic scholarship."
"So are you gonna go there?"
"No I think I'd rather scrape my eyeballs out with a plastic spork. And besides, I'll never get into a good career because no one will want to fucking deal with me. But what should I do with the letter?"
"I used mine to wipe my ass."
"This? Oh, it's just my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan, Johnny."
"Wow, now everyone I know has one of those."
"Yeah, they offered me a four-year academic and athletic scholarship."
"So are you gonna go there?"
"No I think I'd rather scrape my eyeballs out with a plastic spork. And besides, I'll never get into a good career because no one will want to fucking deal with me. But what should I do with the letter?"
"I used mine to wipe my ass."
by GoBlow1234 April 18, 2009
Get the University of Michigan mug.A school that people come to without actually thinking of the consequences. "Yes I got in! Oh shit I'm actually at this sick place now" "Dude you didn't realize that Central Michigan sucks dick!"
by Get it done69 August 30, 2011
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by sierra FILTH April 9, 2006
Get the Michigan mug.Essentially the preppy assholes of the Big Ten, they have some of the laziest and most uninspired fans in all of college sports. One gets the sense that there would be no such thing as a Michigan fan if the state of Michigan wasn't so intensely boring. Their football stadium is atrocious, and literally stinks.
"But.. but.. but we've won 11, I mean 13, I mean 16 national championships!! By our count, anyways."
by Truf spitter. March 13, 2005
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Get the munchivitus mug.A hybrid of munching and jacking off. When under the influence of chron-doggy, some people's munching crosses over into sexual experience.
The other night, I ordered the entire value menu at McDonalds and started munching off in front of my friends, like they weren't even there...
by pornmonster69 March 9, 2010
Get the Munching Off mug.the michigan high five is when one gives a hand job to completion whilst wearing a mitten. the act, however, is not limited to michigan residents or visitors. you can perform the michigan high five in any of the contiguous united states. one can do it in hawaii or alaska, but it is frowned upon.
the origin of the michigan high five is derived from the state's mitten-like shape and harsh winter weather conditions. it's perfect for those who enjoy giving a hand job, but dread the mess. there is currently a line of mittens being produced just for this sole purpose, so keep your eyes and hands out for MH5 mittens in an array of colors and textures.
and for those living in colder climates, don't be ashamed to give yourself a michigan high five. that's what it's there for.
the origin of the michigan high five is derived from the state's mitten-like shape and harsh winter weather conditions. it's perfect for those who enjoy giving a hand job, but dread the mess. there is currently a line of mittens being produced just for this sole purpose, so keep your eyes and hands out for MH5 mittens in an array of colors and textures.
and for those living in colder climates, don't be ashamed to give yourself a michigan high five. that's what it's there for.
why don't you come back to my place and mama will give you a michigan high five.
it's cold outside. how about you slip on that mitten and give me a michigan high five.
did you make it to third base? nah, just gave him a michigan high five.
2 degrees, 1 mitten: the michigan high five.
it's cold outside. how about you slip on that mitten and give me a michigan high five.
did you make it to third base? nah, just gave him a michigan high five.
2 degrees, 1 mitten: the michigan high five.
by mamaknowsbest1 November 19, 2013
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