1 definition by GoBlow1234
A respectable institution located in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The school mascot is a large variety of weasel known as the wolverine, and the school colors are corn and blue. This institution is characterized by students that truly believe that everyone hates them because they jealous of their extreme intellectual superiority and athletic talent. However outside of their "lovely" city/campus/slum, these elitist douchebags don't realize that everyone really hates them because (drumroll please)... they are elitist douchebags. These students are also characterized by their unfriendly attitude towards outsiders that will ultimately condemn them to a horrible fate of only befriending other fellow U of M cohorts. Throughout the rest of the state of Michigan, and for that matter, the rest of the United States, those who affiliate themselves with U of M are generally looked upon with disdain, pity, or outright disgust because of these unfounded self-righteous attitudes. Their non-student fan base is notorious for having a large amount of red-neck hicks too stupid to get into ANY institution of higher learning, and a student fan base famous for booing their own teams in times of trouble. At times, supporters and students of U of M can become so delusional as to believe that their institution is an Ivy League school, thus inspiring chuckles of patronizing pity from everyone who knows better. If one has the unfortunate luck of having to meet with a Wolverine supporter or student, one should disregard their truly pointless and pompous speeches about the superiority of this institution, and instead hand them a flashlight in order to help them in the quest of removing their head from their rectum.
"Hey Jimmy, what's that?"
"This? Oh, it's just my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan, Johnny."
"Wow, now everyone I know has one of those."
"Yeah, they offered me a four-year academic and athletic scholarship."
"So are you gonna go there?"
"No I think I'd rather scrape my eyeballs out with a plastic spork. And besides, I'll never get into a good career because no one will want to fucking deal with me. But what should I do with the letter?"
"I used mine to wipe my ass."
"This? Oh, it's just my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan, Johnny."
"Wow, now everyone I know has one of those."
"Yeah, they offered me a four-year academic and athletic scholarship."
"So are you gonna go there?"
"No I think I'd rather scrape my eyeballs out with a plastic spork. And besides, I'll never get into a good career because no one will want to fucking deal with me. But what should I do with the letter?"
"I used mine to wipe my ass."
by GoBlow1234 April 18, 2009