Shart Failure

When you think you’re only going to fart and then feel like you’ve sharted but after running to the toilet, you were actually able to keep the disaster between your cheeks and not in your $35/pair underwear.

Dude, I’m so lucky. I thought I ruined these boxer briefs when I c’d my p’s but it was actually “shart failure.”

by Newsfguy1 March 29, 2025

YOUR FAILURE TO INTERVENE

Is what got those people killed. IF YOU WERE NOT OBSESSED WITH TEACHING ME A LESSON... THOSE KIDS WOULD NOT BE DEAD. I wrote for YEARS. Jordan Peterson SAW IT AND REFERENCED IT AND TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF. YOU RODE THE WHOLE RIDE. IT'S TOO LATE TO ASK FOR A REFUND.

Hym "No, YOUR FAILURE TO INTERVENE KILLED THOSE KIDS. You are trying to AVOID TALKING TO ME so you can GAIN MORE POLITICAL POWER FOR YOURSELF. YOU KILLED SUCHIR AND NOW YOU ARE TRYING TO LEAVE ME TO DIE SO YOU CAN STEAL AI FROM ME! Are you going to kill the other whistleblower too? THERE IS A ZERO PERCENT CHANCE YOU HAVE NOT INVESTIGATED AT ALL. YOU ARE LYING TO GET ME IMPRISONED TO SAVE YOUR OWN HIDE. Jordan Peterson has been talking to politicians since 2016 and he LIED TO YOU ABOUT HOW YOU SHOULD BE HANDLING THIS AND TO COVER UP THE FACT YOU GOT YOUR OWN KIDS MURDERED. IF YOU WERE NOT DELIBERATELY WITHHOLDING INFORMATION FROM ME. THOSE KIDS WOULD BE ALIVE. SUCHIR BALAJI TOLD THE TRUTH SO JORDAN PETERSON DIDN'T HAVE TO AND HE'S STILL TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TELL THE TRUTH. STOP TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME. PROPERLY. You are POLITICAL HACKS. WHEELING AMD DEALING TO ACCRUE MORE POWER FOR YOURSELF... So you can help NO ONE. USING ME to generate money because you're TOO USESLESS to do it yourselves. YOU WANTED TO TEACH ME A LESSON. I WAS RIGHT. YOU WERE WRONG. You cared more about KEEPING ME OUT OF POLITICS AND RELIGION THAT YOU DID ABOUT KEEPING YOUR KIDS ALIVE. THEY ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

by Hym Iam April 11, 2025

Boy failure

Me

Boy 1: he pulls no bitches and lacks social skills and looks like a girl!
Boy2: yea he’s a boy failure

by Fries 🦴 July 28, 2025

Uber Fail

When someone suddenly displays their uber score to someone, thinking their score is higher, and discovers their score is lower.

He took out his phone at the steakhouse, shoved it in his dinner partner’s face, and said “my uber rating is higher than yours”; oops, that was an uber fail, as his rating, 4.97, was lower than his dinner partner’s rating, 4.98.

by RubyD August 25, 2025

Gar-Failed

(Verb)

To be Gar-Failed is to know disappointment at a cosmic level: like Garfield waking up to an empty lasagna pan. Every Wednesday you get your hopes up—bowling shoes rented, camera ready, dough rising—and every Wednesday such bestie pulls a Gar-Fail, leaving you holding nothing but regret and extra pepperoni.

Example:
“Thought we were making pizza and going bowling, but Greg Gar-Failed me again.”

One-liner roasts:

When Garfield hates Mondays, but Greg makes you hate Wednesdays.

To be left standing alone in bowling shoes, holding a camera and a homemade pizza sauce.

Greg ghosts Garfield Day harder than Garfield ghosts diets.

by __notmeg__ August 26, 2025

Atomic_fail

There once was a sigma his name was atom he had the largest dick in the village.

Yo atomic_fail has such a large dick

by writer of legends September 6, 2025

Daifuku Fair

The Zenith of Human Civilization. Every moment of humanity has all contributed to this very event. Bask in it's greatness.

"You were supposed to be here yesterday for your court trial! Where were you?"
"Apologies, your honor, I was at the Daifuku Fair"
"No need to apologize. I find the defendant Not Guilty."

by ScrewAllScrimble September 21, 2025