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Excuse Spaghetti

feeble attempts to explain away SignalGate scandal
Mike Waltz appeared on Laura Ingraham's White Power Hour on Fixed Noise to toss Excuse Spaghetti on the wall to see what stuck. Waltz, dancing as fast as he could, suggested that Atlantic publisher Jeff Goldberg "infiltrated" the Signal chat rather than being added to it—even though receipts show the latter to be the stone-cold truth.
by Uncle Joosie March 27, 2025
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existential rape

The word is typically used in reference to the philosophy of anti-natalism, and it refers to the birth of someone without their consent.
1. For example, everyone who was ever born has been born without their consent, so everyone has suffered existential rape.2
by Sn0rlaxative February 10, 2026
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exist

what doesn't happen when you listen to kid A
i was existing then listened to kid A and then
by JohnFreedom184 June 12, 2025
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Existillion

A number equal to 10^2,685,000, representing the estimated odds of a specific individual being born factoring in ancestral survival, biological randomness, and the timing of existence.
Every human life is a miracle, a statistical anomaly measured in Existillions
by Kxrm June 26, 2025
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grooming excuse

Any use of a feeble, or implausible excuse used by someone to escape from a conversation on a mind-numbing, or uninteresting topic for the listener. Refers to someone explaining their preference to 'wash their hair', 'do their nails' or some other such excuse, which would be an otherwise less desirable chore than having to suffer through listening to such a boring conversation.

These excuses were popular in sit-coms, where the lead actor wanted to extract laughter from the audience with the punchline illustrating the implausibility of the excuse being believed by the recipient.
Claire: When I came back with your wine you'd already left. What happened?

Steve: When that wine-snob came over to talk about the wine we were drinking, I had to use a grooming excuse to get out of there.
by WineBusProf February 20, 2015
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charger excuse

In recent years, this has become a popular cover story for ignoring someone's phone calls and/or text messages. Your phone's battery died and the charger was at home, or you could not find the charger.
Shortly after Bill arrived at the lake, his boss texted him and asked if he could work on his day off. He decided to use the charger excuse.
by WineAndPasta June 13, 2016
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