Beard Bulking

When you let your beard grow wild af before you go and get a rigorous trim, sculpt, and product beard massage.

Me: Wow Tyler, you’re beard is looking pretty unruly.

Tyler: I’m beard bulking to look fly for the ladies this summer.

by Jaydawn April 27, 2022

Handsome Beard

When a man and a very nice beard growth, thick and well kept without the need of constant grooming.

Person 1: Wow check that mans beard out it really suits him!

Person 2: Oh yeah, you're right...that truly is a handsome beard!

by punkwendyhouse November 14, 2011

beard blind

the inability to see or recall if a man or woman has facial hair, including if it changes over time. not to be confused with beard blinders; the use of one's hands to part excessive facial or other hair. Ex "his beard was so copious she had to use beard blinders to kiss him

Beard blind in the witness made the garden gnome bank robbers hard to finger

by odiepeyote February 25, 2017

Retirement Beard

A bead grown soon after retirement

I'm quitting my job and growing a retirement beard just like David Letterman.

by Stylecouncler September 17, 2018

Beard packing

The act of carefully packing ones excessively long facial hair into ones anus.

I did not eat that strippers ass. What you were smelling is just some light beard packing.

by Rellov January 17, 2017

queer beard

Someone who you coauthor with who has a marginalized gender identity or sexual orientation (e.g. LGBT2Q+), in order to credibly discuss issues of gender as a cishet person. Could equally apply to people of marginalized racial identities (see race beard).

That guy only writes with so-and-so so he can talk about queer topics without being attacked, and get into those progressive journals! I would go as far to say he's using them as a queer beard...

by secretuser420 April 7, 2020

Fructose Beard

A fleshy, saggy, pouch-like formation under the chin caused by overconsumption of highly processed, fructose-laden snack foods. A fructose beard obscures the natural jawline and renders the victim's face shapeless and lacking in definition.

Honey Boo-Boo's mom is sporting a serious fructose beard.

by barfstormman1 August 30, 2013