to get the monkey off your back

to silence one's either personal or media critics

if you are going to survive in the entertainment business you'd have to learn how to get the monkey off your back.

by Sexydimma August 13, 2015

high-fived-a-monkey

When you wipe your ass and you get shit on your hand.

Dude, gross, it looks like you high-fived-a-monkey in the bathroom.

by HIVaherpagonorrhebolaids December 6, 2015

The Kansas City Mud Monkey

When you bone your lady in the ass until she shits on your pecker, then gives you a handjob.

Joanne was on the rag last night and I was horny, so we did the Kansas City Mud Monkey on the kitchen table.

by AK Daddy July 6, 2016

Two legged twat monkey

Something funny call ya m8

Lou lou ya two legged twat monkey

by Onyx1205 October 2, 2016

Chunking the monkey

Beating your dick

Sorry Bro, I was chunking the monkey last night

by Weavebobo October 26, 2016

Watering My Monkey

An excuse to tell your friend when you aren't really busy, but don't actually want to spend time with them either.

"Hey Elizabeth, can you hang out tonight" "No, sorry, I'm watering my monkey tonight"

by thndrchunky December 1, 2016

Burned the monkey

When you distroy shit your ex gave you... as in the time he gave you a stuffed animal, and then broke up with you so you burned it.

Friend: So how are things going with tom?
You: I burned the monkey..!
Friend: OH.!.

by Fo'realdoe December 19, 2016