Pulling a Jared

When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor

Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.

by LevMehArone January 25, 2022

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Jared

A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.

Jared has a massive dick.

by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022

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Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.

Jared can simply whip the piss.

by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022

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Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him

ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again

by anonymous April 3, 2022

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Jared

The most Jared thing a Jared could ever do is be named Jared. They are constantly taking bathroom breaks each one longer then the last. They are experts in the arts of PC building and take pride in the fact that they know how to build a Lego or two (thanks to an engineering background). Expect them to talk about their Linus Tech Tips water bottle every now and then. That is just the Jared way.

Wow, is that guy who built is own PC out of nothing but dirt and grass? He's such a Jared!

by wordsarentreal78 April 12, 2022

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