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shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.
My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.
by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007
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hand bomb

hand bomb a 14 or 16 ounce propane cylinder used for portable propane appliances like lanterns stoves heaters and grills which explode on rare occasions and become little bombs when an explosion happens hints the name hand bomb
my buddy had a leaking hand bomb he didnt know it when he lit his cigarette there was a small explosion blowing his front door off its hinges and knocking him to the floor luckilly he was hurt man those hand bombs can be dangerous you better watch out when you use hand bombs

i ran out of hand bombs and had to go the store to get some
by bluebear December 21, 2022
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xbox hands

When your hands sweat like a bitch playing modern warfare 2, or any really intense game, leaving the controller feeling wet. Noticed especially during a social session of modern warfare 2 where the controller is passed, as well as many bowls, to the next person after each match.
Jesus fagtron 3000 let me get you a towel or something. I know you were tryin to finish off 150 headshots with the FAL, but come on give us a courtesy dry every couple minutes. christ xbox hands over here
by dwreck3000 April 30, 2010
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halo hands

A series of unsightly abrasions to the hands and wrists as a result of frequent contact with a hard surface such as a wall or floor. Commonly found in people with short tempers or Halo 3.
Bob: "Dammit dude I died again!!" (smashes ground)

Jimmy: "You should really learn to control your temper: your hand's lookin pretty bad"

Bob: "Yup, the doc says I got halo hands and theres no known cure... Now shut the fuck up and let me play!" (dies again)

Bob: (Towards tv monitor) "You fucking faggot, I was arguing with this deuche sitting next to me!!!"(pounds tv monitor)CRUNCH!!!!....

Bob: Oh fuck, I broke the tv. I've really gotta get some help for this."
by MR. AWESOME!!! March 17, 2008
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Guard Hand

When a girl has her hand hover over a guy's hand to guard against where it goes.
After the 7th date when she finally touched my bird, I thought the law of reciprocity meant I could finger her snatch, but her guard hand blocked my attempt.
by Zee Assman January 24, 2005
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4 Hand

Tina and Molly gave me a great 4 hand.
by fbpz1144 December 30, 2011
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Dry Handed

When someone comes out of the bathroom and sees you for the first time of the night, feels the need to be polite and shakes your hand. The problem is it's completey dry. It should still be slightly wet from the washing process. You just got dry handed!
It was a tough night at work. I hung out too close to the the restroom and got dry handed three times. Thank God I brought my Purell.
by Orange Mullet January 13, 2007
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