Jared Dixon

bald.

Person 1: Who’s that bald guy over there ?
person 2: that’s obviously Jared Dixon.

by someone who isn’t bald November 21, 2021

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Mayonnaise jaring

The act of nutting in one’s butt then shoving a butt plug in the hole.

Person: Hey did you know George is well known for mayonnaise jaring?

Other Person: Really! I better go ask if he’s taking appointments!

by chumpaIumpa March 21, 2022

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Pulling a Jared

When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor

Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.

by LevMehArone January 25, 2022

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A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.

Jared has a massive dick.

by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022

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Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.

Jared can simply whip the piss.

by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022

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