PMS (noun)
Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS is a hormonal state that affects some (SOME!) women and makes them more sensitive, bloated, angry, murderous and liable to need huge quantities of chocolate more than normally so. The condition lasts up to four weeks of every month.
PMS may also possibly stand for Punish My Spouse, or Pissed-off,& Murderously Savage. There is some argument amongst scholars over the exact words that make this acronym.
Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS is a hormonal state that affects some (SOME!) women and makes them more sensitive, bloated, angry, murderous and liable to need huge quantities of chocolate more than normally so. The condition lasts up to four weeks of every month.
PMS may also possibly stand for Punish My Spouse, or Pissed-off,& Murderously Savage. There is some argument amongst scholars over the exact words that make this acronym.
Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversit aat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills. It's considered as necessary to surviving a Kreplachi marriage as laying in a huge supply of 2-layer, deluxe boxes of the best chocolates for the two or more weeks a month of a Kreplachi wife's PMS. (Scientists postulate that a gene in the Kreplachi population is found on the X chromosome, and women, being XX, get two of them and thus have twice the normal amount of PMS as the general population of women around the world.)
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
by Ortlieb Gottschalk July 10, 2007
Girl 1: My boyfriend totally had a bf (bitch fit) when i asked for ice cream at the movies.
Girl 2: He must have PMS
Girl 2: He must have PMS
by Littlemissjune March 29, 2008
week before period, tickd off easily, sick feeling, cramps, puke, headaches, tickd off easily....and 2 all of u guys who put that its a horrible excuse to bitch or its just an excuse its NOT. yall wouldnt have the slightest clue about PMS and how it makes you feel its NOT an excuse dumbasseslike yall would know....lmao...i wrote this and im on my period..but fo real tho.lol..it cant be helped...so shove it
by WunLoveParis September 29, 2005
i dont know why everyone is saying all this shit about pms! its just before and during a girls menstruation week when she might get cravings, get bloated, get bitchy, have mood swings, cramps etc.
by Lili333 April 18, 2007
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. What women go through if they aren't pregnant. Women on PMS tend to be bitchy, and angry for no reason. If your friend is on it, RUN FOR YOU LIFE!
by Militant Liberal April 16, 2005
Pass My Sweatpants
Pardon My Sobbing
Present Me Sweets
Paniced Men Screaming
Presently Missing Sarcasism
Pissing Me Seriously
Pre Menstral Syndrome
Pissy Man Syndrome
Pardon My Sobbing
Present Me Sweets
Paniced Men Screaming
Presently Missing Sarcasism
Pissing Me Seriously
Pre Menstral Syndrome
Pissy Man Syndrome
by Magers April 29, 2009
A ruthless gang who patrol the South of England jumping various other, more minor gangs. It is believed that the PM originally consisted of only five founding members, and have grown to be feared ever since.
by PaulSmithGX50 October 23, 2011