Mortarboard

The square hat people use when graduating.

"Hey, I am wearing a mortarboard"
"no."

by NicoCharrua November 16, 2019

Mort got us in a fucking car wreck

It all started when mort the part lemur (Microcebus lehilahytsara) part bear part starfish from the movie Madagascar decided to take the wheels, which he then crashed. Causing King Julien to paralyze from the neck down.

Here's what King Julien has to say:
"Mort got us in a fucking car wreck. I'm now paralyzed from the neck down and I cannot move it move it"

a sad but true story

what am I doing with my life

King Julien: Mort got us in a fucking car wreck. I'm now paralyzed from the neck down and I cannot move it move it
Me: haha meaningless humor to escape my responsibility go brrr

by Mort got us in a fukin carwrek June 23, 2021

golden mortgage

1. A golden mortgage occurs when a bank or mortgage company allows the homeowner to sell their property for an amount that is lower than what is owed on the loan, then micturates on the newly dispossessed homeowner.

2. Rejected title revision for a song by a New York City rock band that takes its name from audio compressor settings.

3. A charge widely believed to be included in a sealed indictment against the R&B singer/songwriter R. Kelly.

With his credit in Jeopardy, Archibald reluctantly donned a slicker and accepted a golden mortgage.

The songwriter was shrewdly advised that, whatever he did, he must not change the name of his song to "Golden Mortgage."

Requesting a golden mortgage, the accused allegedly genuflected and looked into the eyes of his stylist's niece with pity and longing.

by A Tabak April 17, 2008

Chronic Mortality

The disease that causes the eventual death of most living organisms.

I have chronic mortality, it will cause my death in 666 years.

by Fortcraft October 2, 2016

Mortal Kombat X

A game that has evolved extremely over the last 2 decades. A good alternative to masturbation, especially when you get really stressed.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Mortal Kombat X with your daddy?

Boy: But dad, that game looks scary... Dad?

Dad: *Burns Call of Duty Ghosts* Dad wins, Fatality!

Boy: *faints*

by Davcoll, the swag monkey thing May 1, 2015

Mortally Challenged

How Demons in the Doom series are referred to by humans, especially ARC Employees. It’s an ongoing joke showing humans being sensitive to demons that are literally destroying their world. It takes the piss out of recent conversations about “political correctness” and makes it into a joke.

ARC Employee: Remember, “Demon” can be an offensive term, refer to them as “Mortally Challenged”.

by kidkruschev February 15, 2021

mortaled

1) Person, or persons, who decide to drink beyond their limits. Once achieved the person, or persons, plead for death as it seems the quickest way to rid themselves of a bad headache or projectile vomiting,

2) To be returned to (or reminded of) ones true mortal state (i.e. the condition of being subject to death, and without superpowers) by consuming grievous quantities of alcohol.

3) To be mentally separated from that, the soul apparent, which might be considered to distinguish one as being 'immortal' through holding free-will, as opposed to a 'mortal' base animalistic level of brain function. Commonly achieved through the plying of the brain with copious measures of Tequila..

1) 'Did I have much to drink'? Jesus man I was drinking non-stop from lunchtime, I was utterly mortaled by the end

2) Man, he couldn't remember his own name let alone walk straight! He was completely mortaled!

by Geoffety Geoff May 16, 2008