A man who, according to a somewhat-popular book known as the Bible, was the son of God. Jews and atheists do not acknowledge his existence, but then, neither reads a Bible.
Anyway, it is said that Jesus died for us, the worthless humans we are, and rose three days later to prove his holiness. Some nonbelievers claim he hung out in his little cave eating beef jerkey he hid up his ass. But you don't need to believe either.
Anyway, it is said that Jesus died for us, the worthless humans we are, and rose three days later to prove his holiness. Some nonbelievers claim he hung out in his little cave eating beef jerkey he hid up his ass. But you don't need to believe either.
There was only one man who expected from us such a perfect balance that we could live by the law and still forgive the deviation. So, of course, we killed him.
-Orson Scott Card on "Jesus"
-Orson Scott Card on "Jesus"
by Inyro November 28, 2007
Get the jesusmug. a magician that lived 2000 years ago,fooling the less intelligent and weak.He was the chris angel of his time,the only reason why we dont think chris angel is the son of god is because we understand magic and know its fake but 2000 years ago people werent so smart.
by nothing_but_the_truth December 23, 2008
Get the jesusmug. Jesus Christ, is a savior. He was sent from Heaven by God into the womb of virgin mary. She gave birth to him and named him Jesus. Jesus grew up perfect, all have sinned but him. He is love. Jesus was crucified, beaten, and mocked by Jews, and nailed on a cross to pay for our sins, that anyone who believes in him may be SAVED from hell to live with God eternally in heaven!!3 days later Easter the Messiah rose again and was a miarcle and many bowed and worshiped him! He will be back...Jesus is coming to take those who beleive back to heaven, and that could be the end of the world, Don't be left behind, or gone to hell. Make the descion before its to late, God loves you and is knocking on your heart..."let him in!"
by CharisXlovesXyou November 7, 2006
Get the jesusmug. 1.The leader of the christian religion.
2.An exclamation when something surprises you.
3.how to describe something really good.
2.An exclamation when something surprises you.
3.how to describe something really good.
1. jesus loves you.
2. jesus christ! that scared me.
3. this juice tastes really good i'll call it jesusjuice.
3. this juice tastes like jesus!
2. jesus christ! that scared me.
3. this juice tastes really good i'll call it jesusjuice.
3. this juice tastes like jesus!
by wolfn8r April 8, 2009
Get the jesusmug. A guy some prick made up in order to make a few dollars. If he really did exist he propably was a schizophrenic man.
The bible is also full of contradictions. Example- Jesus loves everyone, but hates gays.
Religion has also caused more bad then good, with all the wars and stuff. Also jesus is one of the reasons For George W. Bush.
The bible is also full of contradictions. Example- Jesus loves everyone, but hates gays.
Religion has also caused more bad then good, with all the wars and stuff. Also jesus is one of the reasons For George W. Bush.
Jesus has buttfucked the world economically, politicly, and emotionally.
by \cool kid/ December 11, 2008
Get the jesusmug. Jehovah God's first creation, thus "only begotten son," who served as a master worker during the creation of the universe. To compensate for the sin of Adam and Eve, Jehovah sent Jesus to earth to sacrifice his life. This is the greatest act of love ever known and was prophesied about in the Bible. As a man on earth, Jesus taught his followers that Jehovah will use the "Kingdom of God" to restore man to perfection and planet earth to paradise. To demonstrate that he had God-given authority, Jesus performed many miracles. After Jesus exposed the religious leaders as being false, they brought him into a mock trial on trumped-up charges and had him executed. Three days later Jehovah raised Jesus up. Jesus continues to be the key figure in Jehovah's channel of communication to mankind. Jesus has promised mankind, in the Bible, that he will remove the people who reject his Kingdom message. In the Bible this is known as Armaggedeon. Jesus will use the survivors of Armageddeon in restoring earth and mankind back to its original condition.
by Mac C. December 3, 2007
Get the jesusmug. A short bald African-American guy that hides in the closet and watches me and my wife doing it. We like to pretend he's not there, but it's kinda hard 'cause you can hear him muttering stuff under his breath (while probably touching himself).
Wife- You wanna make love,
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.
by J-to the Dizzle January 19, 2019
Get the jesusmug.