glutard

One who does not possess the enzymes necessary to digest gluten, a main ingredient in wheat products. One who is "glutarded" must only eat gluten-free foods, such as water, tofu, and air.

"Hey, do you want some pasta for dinner?"
"No, sorry, I'm a glutard."
"...what does that mean?"
"It means... I'm glutarded."
"Oh. Okay."

by beardy51188 September 17, 2008

Gluten

Something that an attention seeker is allergic to.

Woody: I'm not sure what gluten is? Is it in bread?
Taylor: Don't worry, no one is actually allergic to it.

by EndingDestiny March 29, 2015

gluten free-tard

Any asshole that cruises restaurants spreading the fear of wheat into others while angering the entire staff and probably half of the customers. They do this while asking 30 questions and proudly sending back dishes that they fear contains an ingredient that almost nobody is allergic too until after they start the diet.

"excuse me sir, has this plate touched wheat ever?" "Are you allergic to wheat or are you a Gluten free-tard?"

by Annoyed Server September 15, 2012

glut

Shortened version of gluttony. Used to describe a person who eats an inordinate amount of food and who is usually extremely obese or over-weight.

Frank is such a glut...he looks like Jaba The Hutt.

by Joe24 April 14, 2006

glutard

One who often and aggressively expresses their opinion about gluten but knows almost nothing about it.

A Glutard will not know:
- What gluten actually is.
- That gluten free food is more processed than their gluten counterparts because the wheat gluten must be extracted.
- What current science says about real gluten intolerance (Celiac disease).
- How gluten intolerance occurs (such as believing that you can breath gluten in like asbestos or absorb gluten through the skin and hair)

A Glutard will speak absolute lies, such as:
- gluten is a"chemical additive" put there by "the food industry."
- gluten free food is more "natural."
- gluten causes cancer.
- gluten causes illness X or making us all sick/dumb/obedient, etc.
- Will mix/match/interchange gluten with various substances which aren't gluten (such as Monosodium glutamate, known as MSG)

A Glutard's opinion of the negative effects of gluten also extend beyond diet alone. Their "knowledge" of gluten is made up of complete lies and/or marketing information from labelled gluten free food products.

True example:

Person 1: "So, what are the advantages of gluten free soap? I thought gluten only affected your diet?"

Glutard: "It's been proven that soap releases gluten fibers which you can breath in and make you sick. This is why you sometimes feel out of breath after a shower."

The guy at the health food counter at whole foods is a glutard, he told me that eating gluten causes brain abnormalities in laboratory rats.

by SearchFHG November 13, 2014

gluten

A protein that is found in cereal grains such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, and kamut, but NOT in rice, quinoa, corn, buckwheat, or millet. It is a more common allergen than most people are aware of. The condition in which the body creates an immune response to products containing gluten is called Celiac disease.

My little bro is shitting blood because of that bowl of pasta you made him. I told you he's gluten sensitive, you douchebag!

by WILLERxKILLER July 8, 2006

glusterfuck

A combination of the words GlusterFS and " clusterfuck ".
I.E a failure of magnificent magnitude involving the Gluster filesystem

This storage server is turning into a real glusterfuck

by Dfkfkfdk September 8, 2015