A security roll is a roll of toilet paper that you take into the bathroom with you to use as back up when the current roll is almost depleted.
Man 1: I gotta crap.
Man 2: Take a security roll, the roll in the bathroom is almost out!
Man 1: Thanks for the heads up.
Man 2: Take a security roll, the roll in the bathroom is almost out!
Man 1: Thanks for the heads up.
by Chitin_Commando April 27, 2010
Get the Security Roll mug.Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 19, 2009
Get the Secret Internet Fatty mug.Related Words
Secrit
• secret
• Secret Squirrel
• scritch
• secret agent
• secret santa
• Secretary
• secret sauce
• scrit
• secret garden
A Facebook page created by an anonymous student from John Abbott College in Sainte Anne De Bellevue. Biggest leading cause of procrastination. Commented by trolls, butthurt kids, jac royalty and others. Lots of thirsty people.
by pastorlode February 23, 2014
Get the jac secrets mug.The 2007 Boston magnetic light scare was an incident that occurred in Boston, Massachusetts and the Greater Boston area on January 31, 2007. Boston police found magnetic light devices with battery packs around the city, mistaking them for strategically-placed bombs. These devices turned out to be elements of a guerrilla marketing campaign for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, a film based on the animated TV series Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim late-night programming block. The G4 television network has dubbed the incident "Aquagate." This event just showed how stupid and how much some people can overreact.
In result two people were arrested, Peter Berdovsky, a freelance video artist from Arlington, Massachusetts, and Sean Stevens, of Charlestown, Massachusetts, were facing charges of placing a "hoax device" in a way that results in panic.Additional charges are being considered against the network and marketing firm. The two initial suspects have pled "not guilty."
In the first public interview of the suspects with their lawyer in front of the court building since they were charged, the suspects brought up the topic of '70s haircuts and refused to discuss anything else, amidst reporters' accusations that they were not taking the situation seriously which caused many of the reporting new stations to become frustrated (as they are all a bunch of idiots anyways and can't take a joke, and see the whole stupidity of the situation since most newstations are payed off by politicians anyways).
The stupidity of this situation is that the same magnetic lights were reported in many other cities including Seattle, Philadelphia, and New York. All in which no major crisis occured believing the objects were some sort of explosive device. In all of these cities, there were also no compliants about the devices. Although all of the magnetic lights in the three cities above had been in place two or three weeks, Boston was the only one where officials treated the objects as bombs.
Some of the LED lights are now selling for over the price $3,000 on Ebay.
In result two people were arrested, Peter Berdovsky, a freelance video artist from Arlington, Massachusetts, and Sean Stevens, of Charlestown, Massachusetts, were facing charges of placing a "hoax device" in a way that results in panic.Additional charges are being considered against the network and marketing firm. The two initial suspects have pled "not guilty."
In the first public interview of the suspects with their lawyer in front of the court building since they were charged, the suspects brought up the topic of '70s haircuts and refused to discuss anything else, amidst reporters' accusations that they were not taking the situation seriously which caused many of the reporting new stations to become frustrated (as they are all a bunch of idiots anyways and can't take a joke, and see the whole stupidity of the situation since most newstations are payed off by politicians anyways).
The stupidity of this situation is that the same magnetic lights were reported in many other cities including Seattle, Philadelphia, and New York. All in which no major crisis occured believing the objects were some sort of explosive device. In all of these cities, there were also no compliants about the devices. Although all of the magnetic lights in the three cities above had been in place two or three weeks, Boston was the only one where officials treated the objects as bombs.
Some of the LED lights are now selling for over the price $3,000 on Ebay.
Officer Bob: "Hey whats that glowing light?"
Citizen: "Well it can't be a glowing lite brite of some sort of cartoon figure flicking me off, no its got to be a bomb!"
Officer Bob: "A bomb hurry lets waste a large sum of money to disarm a light!"
That's the 2007 Boston Security Scare for ya
"1-31-07 Never Forget"
Citizen: "Well it can't be a glowing lite brite of some sort of cartoon figure flicking me off, no its got to be a bomb!"
Officer Bob: "A bomb hurry lets waste a large sum of money to disarm a light!"
That's the 2007 Boston Security Scare for ya
"1-31-07 Never Forget"
by TheRevolution19 February 4, 2007
Get the 2007 Boston Security Scare mug.by minipie8 October 2, 2004
Get the security hole mug.A person who greets you when you enter Walmart, who later on checks you upon leaving to make sure you haven't got 4 bottles of Robitussin as opposed to 3.
by Walmart Security July 15, 2005
Get the Walmart Security mug.Friend1: hey dude, your girlfriend's got a face like my uncle
Friend2: yeah im starting to think she's got a Secret Hotdog
Friend2: yeah im starting to think she's got a Secret Hotdog
by Aconic September 5, 2019
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