Scary American jesus-freaks that come to my door trying to convert me to their whacky religion.
They often sport name tags with the title of 'Elder', despite being of college student age.
Although they do seem friendly enough, to normal folk they are still god-damned annoying. Indeed, if anybody can put up with a Mormon visit without telling them to "Fuck Off", they deserve a VIP place in Heaven.
They often sport name tags with the title of 'Elder', despite being of college student age.
Although they do seem friendly enough, to normal folk they are still god-damned annoying. Indeed, if anybody can put up with a Mormon visit without telling them to "Fuck Off", they deserve a VIP place in Heaven.
"Next time a Mormon comes to my door, I won't say I'm atheist, I'll lie and say I'm Catholic, then they'll fuck off."
by bluntpencil2001 April 26, 2005
Some of the nicest people you will ever meet, which is unfortunate, since they fall victim to the biggest fraud ever. The Book of Mormon has been altered nearly 300 times to meet the popularity of changing times, such as no longer practicing poligamy and allowing blacks into the church after feeling the pressure of the Civil Rights Movement. Joeseph Smith was not a martyr, he shot at and killed some of the people that came after him when they were tired of his lies.
Nobody ever saw the Golden Plates, and what he copied down from them in "hieroglyphics " have been translated and found to mean absolute rubbish. Mormons say that the Bible is word from God, even though the Bible clearly says that nothing can be added to it, the Book of Mormon is an obvious attempt at this.
Nobody ever saw the Golden Plates, and what he copied down from them in "hieroglyphics " have been translated and found to mean absolute rubbish. Mormons say that the Bible is word from God, even though the Bible clearly says that nothing can be added to it, the Book of Mormon is an obvious attempt at this.
Mormons must tithe 10 percent of their income to be in good standing, and people are counting. My church simply has an anonymous drop box in the lobby
by Derek November 18, 2004
People that believe that they might become gods. The above stated 13 Articles of Faith put exactly what mormons are. And in the Bible, it states that nothing shall be added to that specific book, not the entire Bible. I forget which book it is though, but we studied it in seminary...another mormon quirk. you get up at 6 oclock every morning and go to church, then you got to school. But if it were true that that statement referred to everything, then the entire Bible would be fake, because that book was one of the first written. The bible is not compiled chronologically.
Mormons are persecuted daily, and those that stand up for their beliefs have my utmost respect. Sadly, I don't have my own respect.
by renegade February 18, 2005
1 step above scientology
by gbvgqawDCEQWJKLFCHAUWHNDO'AS January 24, 2010
A very nice, generous, misunderstood group of people. No they don't practice poligamy and have multiple wives. We only try to do the best we can in life. We're not perfect and don't think we're perfect. We only strive to work hard and get through life without much trouble. We don't put down other religions, and we don't think you'll go to hell or whatever just because you're in a different religion. We believe everyone has a chance to have eternal salvation and that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are two seperate beings, and that Christ created the Earth. We are Christian. And no, we don't think Joseph Smith (the translator of the book of mormon) is a god, we believe he is a prophet of God.We aren't here to overtake the world, we promise.We only try to allow everyone who would like to hear about our church to hear about it. We understand that its your choice to join or not and we don't to force it upon you. Thank you, and I hope you understand mormons better.
by Whitney February 7, 2005
1. A nickname of a Christian-Millenialist church founded in modern times in 1830; said nickname coming from a book in their canon of scriptures.
2. An adherent of the above named church; possessing a comprehensive belief and social system; some general ones being belief in the trinity, but not in a triune God (Augustinian concept), rejection of Original Sin per se, (another Augustinian concept), belief in many degrees of glory in heaven, that all who have ever lived on earth will have a chance to be saved, and rejection of pointed ears & pitchforks in hell (a medieval concept).
3. Sometimes overly zealous and impetuous collectively, i.e. Mormon(s), and not always wise in that they don't follow the teachings of their prophet Joseph Smith more closely.
2. An adherent of the above named church; possessing a comprehensive belief and social system; some general ones being belief in the trinity, but not in a triune God (Augustinian concept), rejection of Original Sin per se, (another Augustinian concept), belief in many degrees of glory in heaven, that all who have ever lived on earth will have a chance to be saved, and rejection of pointed ears & pitchforks in hell (a medieval concept).
3. Sometimes overly zealous and impetuous collectively, i.e. Mormon(s), and not always wise in that they don't follow the teachings of their prophet Joseph Smith more closely.
Can the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints honestly say that they are any closer today than 150 years ago in accomplishing what the Lord commanded them to do?
by Jim Preston March 16, 2005
Descendents of aliens from the planet Mormog, whose mothership crash-landed in the middle of what is known today as Salt Lake City, Utah. In an attempt to fit in, they adopted the dominant religion, Christianity, and twisted certain aspects around to suit their alien ways of life. The main compartment of the ruined craft survived however. It is buried approximately a mile underneath their greatest temple, and is heavily guarded by purposely grown (and carefully trained) biological monstrosities. The reason for all this security is that the craft harbors advanced mind-warping technology. Should they ever bring their advanced alien science into light, Mormons could tear the very fabric of Western society. Every non-Mormon mind would be enslaved to a great machine - an undetected, disembodied entity hidden (like the preserved remains of their ship) underneath their great temple - and forced to do their bidding. Those who resist would be exterminated via their lethal, telepathic powers. You have been warned.
The Osmonds are Mormons.
by Andrew Bastard May 17, 2006