Elves as described by the Dwarves
Elves are smelly, stuck-up, arrogant tree-fondling hippies dedicated to the protection of their concept of nature (focused on trees).
Elven caravans arrive in late spring. During trade, elves will not accept wood, wooden items or any goods decorated with wood.
Elves will, however, gladly trade you their own wooden items. They will not, however, accept their wooden items back. Bunch of hypocritical bastards.
Elven ethics often differ from those of other races. They are likely to be friendly with dwarves, at least until they cut down too many trees. Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts devouring enemy combatants. History shows that an elven combatant will sometimes devour the other person they were fighting when they win. However elves refuse to butcher and consume intelligent beings. Elves find torturing as an example acceptable. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason. For elves, the killing of plants is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elves never offer capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed petty crimes are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, breaking oaths, or participating in slavery are exiled.
Elves are smelly, stuck-up, arrogant tree-fondling hippies dedicated to the protection of their concept of nature (focused on trees).
Elven caravans arrive in late spring. During trade, elves will not accept wood, wooden items or any goods decorated with wood.
Elves will, however, gladly trade you their own wooden items. They will not, however, accept their wooden items back. Bunch of hypocritical bastards.
Elven ethics often differ from those of other races. They are likely to be friendly with dwarves, at least until they cut down too many trees. Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts devouring enemy combatants. History shows that an elven combatant will sometimes devour the other person they were fighting when they win. However elves refuse to butcher and consume intelligent beings. Elves find torturing as an example acceptable. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason. For elves, the killing of plants is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elves never offer capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed petty crimes are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, breaking oaths, or participating in slavery are exiled.
Dwarf #1 : Hey why is the elven trade caravan leaving? The outside is swarming with the undead!
Dwarf #2 : One of the children gave the elves a wooden box of diamonds and they refused to stay any longer.
Dwarf #1 : ...want to loot there bodies when they get eaten alive?
Dwarf #2 : I thought you'd never ask friend!
Dwarf #2 : One of the children gave the elves a wooden box of diamonds and they refused to stay any longer.
Dwarf #1 : ...want to loot there bodies when they get eaten alive?
Dwarf #2 : I thought you'd never ask friend!
by Blarny July 19, 2012
Get the Elves mug.Of danish descent, means to be small and cheery while wearing tight pants and a courduroy jacket. These people often sound like they should be in German Porn movies and teach Canadians that it's not gay, just European, and that sometimes its fun to join in.
by Kyle January 8, 2004
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1.) When receiving oral sex (preferably by a midget), the male guides the woman's head in a forward and backwards motion by tightly gripping her ears.
2.) Arrows made by elves used to kill prostitutes.
2.) Arrows made by elves used to kill prostitutes.
1.) I heard Legolas treebranched Pippin in the last movie.
2.) Why does my mother have elven tree branches in her heart?
2.) Why does my mother have elven tree branches in her heart?
by Elvenelder October 22, 2010
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Get the elverto mug.Super sexy blondes with pointy ears
Everlasting life usually rangers
Literaly down to earth (only woodland)
Girls love 'em
They are very peacful
And they love lembas bread
Short light weight weapons used
Daggers knives (for otakus) kunai
Bow and arrow
Light long swords
Everlasting life usually rangers
Literaly down to earth (only woodland)
Girls love 'em
They are very peacful
And they love lembas bread
Short light weight weapons used
Daggers knives (for otakus) kunai
Bow and arrow
Light long swords
Legolas is one sexy elf
Those chicks are such a green freaks they must be elves
Me: I'm an elf
Red: um barely
Me: yesh I am
Red: o rly nao?
Me: yesh <shoots tres with arrow>
huh sorry tree <hugs>
Those chicks are such a green freaks they must be elves
Me: I'm an elf
Red: um barely
Me: yesh I am
Red: o rly nao?
Me: yesh <shoots tres with arrow>
huh sorry tree <hugs>
by Spirit Knight January 23, 2009
Get the Elves mug.by weee willy wonka January 25, 2003
Get the Night elves mug.The result of giving an Elf a blowjob, as their cum is said to be minty green. Also another name for a Grasshopper (the drink) because of its similar color.
by Bunny Rose January 6, 2010
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