Crumpet Nigger

A British person.

"Oi govna, cheerio then yeah?"
"I don't understand what you're saying you god damn crumpet nigger"

by travid January 20, 2009

Ass Crumpet

A crunchy ring of residue buuilt up around the anus. The result of poor ass wiping.

His ass is full of ass crumpets.

by Crumpetmaster November 25, 2003

crumpets

a delicous british delicacy that braden has yet to try

my god fergus these crumpets are magnificent

by newcastleunited#1 January 2, 2010

shit crumpet

A greeting to a good friend.2 a dried piece of crap.

Hey shit crumpet!

by John Davis June 15, 2003

English Crumpet

Pinning somebody down on their back and holding their arms down while another person drops his pants and rubs his anus and testicles on the pinned person's face

"You better back off or we'll give yo ass the English crumpet"

Person 1: "Why is he puking?"

Person 2: "Because that boy just got an English crumpet"

by michelleelala December 5, 2014

Mustard Crumpet

Refers to when a man has finished fucking a chick and pulls out his dick, then proceeds to take a dump on her pussy before taking a step back and pissing on it. In doing so resembling a very mustardy crumpet.

The other night Chris accidentally walked in on his sister Steph getting a mustard crumpet from her boyfriend.

by ECMF May 28, 2010

Crumpet Mayhem

A joyous occasion when six or more crumpets are prepared per person. Preferably buttered, hot and crispy (maybe with a little grilled sugar). This is usually the result of somebody suggesting Crumpet Mayhem (usually due to an over-abundance of crumpets due to them being on special offer). The crumpets are consumed by all and enjoyed, as crumpets are loved by all.

"I'm hungry, anybody got any ideas for a good munchies?"...

..."What about Crumpet Mayhem! We got loads of crumpets and butter because they were half price, we could even sprinkle sugar on top?"...

..."Sounds great, let's get the grill on!"

by MikeSynonymous February 11, 2010