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Beating

Something you do to your fat cock when you are lonely and have no friends
*intense beating of thy cock*
by 911was done by car June 9, 2019
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lad beating

Lad beating is an act, that should be carried out by most. It is caused over the hatrid for lads for various reasons, some of these include;
- Stupid clothes (polo tops, tilted hats)
- Attitudes
- Harrasment
- Hair cuts
- Varing social perspectives
- Different socio-economic status
- If you feel like it

It usually involves the physical, and verbal torment of a group of lads, until they start a fight.
Of course there are many variations to start the 'lad beating', some of these include;

The 'Direct Method', which entails you to dircetly engage the lad without being provoked and/or attack without any warning.

The 'Subtle method' involves prolonged eye contact with them, until one decides to say something, in which you reply a witty comeback.
This too, ends in a physical fight. (This is usually the most effective method)

The 'Ninja method' You wear full black, with a balaclava. Then proceed to find lads. When you have found your target, you engage them verbally, if they run chase them, if they dont bash them.

The 'Leb Method' Show up with 20 of your friends, and start yelling profanities at the top of your lungs. At this point, they will run, thus, chase them down and beat the sh*t out of them.

The "Drive-by method"
There are two variations to this
1. Verbal method, includes taunting and/or yelling insults at the window of a moving car.
2. Throwing method, involves throwing objects out the window or at moving car full of lads.
Some of objects that could be thrown include, waterbombs and/or eggs.
Usually a combination of these two is most effective.

Identifying a lad
Clothing; Polo or Nautica polo shirts, with collar popped, Lowrider cut Tracksuits (usually nike/kappa/addidas), Baseball Cap (tilted upwards), Nike TNs or similar shoes.

Hair; Some random sh*t, usually home done, streaked with blonde (sometimes ratties)

Characteristics; Weedy build, commonly around the 6'~7'6" range, "badass" attitude, mob around in groups, Hang around a joint (eg maccas) during daylight hours, Verbal - yet wont back up anything physically.

How/where to Find a Lad
Normal lad hang outs; (Finding a lad to beat)
- Raves
- House parties
- McDonalds (perfect example is Cremorne maccas in sydney)
- Shopping complexes
- Train stations
- Car Parks
- CBDs
- walking major roads (daylight hours)
Jeffery: Damn im bored...
Mark: Wanna go lad beating?
Jeffery: Ill Bring the Bats

LAD BEATING

Leb 1: Oi Bro, lets go lad beating in ali's new van bro
Leb 2: OMG bro wiv the new subs?
Leb 1: Ye bro
Leb 2: OMG Bro, yeh ill go n beat some lads wiv ya

etc.
by Jeffery2114 January 13, 2008
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Beating Cat's Heart

Ask an unsuspecting victim if they have seen a 'beating cat's heart', followed by exposing one's testicles and pumping in and out of one's fist to mimic a beating heart.
Jeffrey: Hey William! Have you ever seen a Beating Cat's Heart?
William: I don't believe I have Jeffrey, please enlighten me!
by Balzak T. Bagger January 14, 2010
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beating penis

Rough, borderline abusive male masturbation (self or otherwise).

-Misheard from Starbomb's song "Rap Battle: Ryu vs. Ken"
-Think you can stop beating penis long enough for this rap battle to the death?

-Probably!

-Why are you in the hopsital?
-I was beating penis a bit too enthusiastically, I'm checking to make sure I didn't get an infection.
by Mister Fuggles August 18, 2016
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beating the worm

To masturbate, especially after having not relieved yourself for an extended period of time.
Jake: Man dude, after Em ground on me and then got up I have a serious case of blue balls!
Blake: Looks like you'll need to try beating the worm if you want to feel better any time soon bro.
by GNU/Linux Guy August 9, 2016
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devil's beating his wife

When the sun is shining but it is raining. The devil's beating his wife.
by Harley2008 November 12, 2013
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beating off

Same as jacking off, but in addition: Any time a mechanical device is temporarily malfunctioning, especially in an erratic motion fashion, it is beating off. See also on the rag and otr for malfunctions of a 5-7 day nature
Bill, the tachometer in you GTO is beating off. (wiggling erratically between 1400 and 3600 RPM)
by andy1 May 24, 2005
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